The Resistance

Anna. I was just calling to say . . .’
    She never finished the sentence, because her body started to shake violently, juddering sobs crashing up through her lungs, loud and raw.

Chapter Eighteen
    Maria was waiting for Anna when she arrived; tea was already brewing and biscuits were laid out on the table. She hadn’t sounded surprised to hear from her, had soothed her, helped her to focus, told her to come over immediately. Now, Maria pointed to the sofa, where Anna gratefully sat down, allowing the soft cushions to comfort her. Maria, meanwhile, took Ben and rocked him in her arms until he fell asleep. And then she looked up, her expression tentative, and said, ‘So.’
    ‘So,’ Anna repeated, and sighed. ‘So . . .’
    She took a deep breath. ‘Peter . . .’ she started, but even as she said his name she could feel her stomach clenching at the thought of telling anyone anything about what she had done. Peter was hers, he was her hero, her everything; she would die for him if that’s what it took, and here she was about to discuss him with a virtual stranger. It felt wrong, it felt like a betrayal.
    ‘I can’t have children,’ she said instead, her eyes welling up with tears as she spoke. ‘There was a Surplus Sterilisation Programme. My name was on the list. Peter wanted to sign the Declaration. I had to. I love him. I don’t want to restrict him. But . . . but . . .’
    ‘You signed the Declaration?’ Maria asked gently.
    Anna nodded. ‘I . . . I did it because I love him. But it feels wrong. Desperately wrong. Maybe I don’t love him enough? Maybe he doesn’t love me enough. Not now. Not any more.’
    ‘I’m sure he loves you,’ Maria said soothingly.
    Anna looked up at her, and gave voice to the demons that had been circling her mind since she’d discovered the truth.
    ‘But I’m useless,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t have children.’
    ‘That’s not your fault. And he can’t, either,’ Maria said reasonably.
    ‘We wanted to start the Next Generation,’ Anna said, her voice becoming hoarse. ‘That was the point. Of me, I mean, of us. My parents . . . they said that I was Nature’s hope. That the human race could be reborn bit by bit. They died . . . They died so that I could live. To have children. They didn’t know. If they’d known . . . they . . . they wouldn’t have . . .’
    ‘Oh, I think they would, Anna,’ Maria said, moving closer. ‘You were their child. They would want the best for you. Just as the rest of us want the best for our children. You can start the next generation by helping us, Anna. That’s just as important as having children.’
    Anna nodded seriously, and took out the map she’d found amongst Peter’s things. ‘I brought the map, like you asked,’ she said tentatively. ‘I don’t know if it will help, but . . .’
    Maria took the map and studied it, her eyes lighting up. ‘Anna, this will help enormously. Thank you. You see? You’re not useless at all. Not one little bit.’ She stood up and walked to the window, moving the curtain just slightly.
    Anna forced a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Everything’s so different now,’ she whispered. ‘I’m not sure I’m ready for it.’
    ‘You will be,’ Maria said, returning to her chair and handing Ben back to Anna. ‘You’ll find a way. You’re strong, Anna. Strong people always find a way through their problems. They always find a way out.’
    ‘You mean like Peter,’ Anna said sadly. ‘He was the one who found the way out of Grange Hall. Not me. I never thought you could get out. I never thought . . .’
    She didn’t finish her sentence. At that moment, the front door crashed open and three men burst through it. Maria immediately jumped up and ran from the room.
    ‘Anna Covey?’ another man asked. She nodded fearfully.
    ‘You’d better come with us,’ the man continued. ‘And we’ll take that,’ he said, picking up the map that Maria had left on her chair.
    Anna knew immediately that this was her fault; that she had done something terrible. ‘I don’t want to.’
    The man laughed coldly as Ben was wrenched from her and she was handcuffed and dragged towards the door.
    ‘Ben!’ Anna screamed. ‘Give him back. You can’t do this. I’m Legal . . . I’m . . .’
    ‘Legal? Don’t make me laugh. You’re Surplus, that’s what you are,’ the man said, throwing her towards the other man. ‘A dirty little Surplus who thinks she can help the others to