The Reunion

reached over and squeezed her hand. The elephant wasn’t so much in the room as sitting right there with them at the table. Jen thought about saying something, tried to think of something she could say, something that wouldn’t sound patronising, that wouldn’t embarrass her. She tried and failed, and then Lilah reappeared with more drinks, so she changed the subject.
    ‘I’m sorry about France,’ she said.
    ‘It’s OK,’ Nat said. ‘It’s understandable that Conor would have to go home. Big Catholic family and all that – Christmas is a big deal.’ She was trying to be reassuring, but she looked a little forlorn.
    ‘I know, but I know you were all looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it. But you guys could still go, you know, there’s no reason to cancel just because Con and I can’t come…’
    ‘It wouldn’t be the same,’ Nat said firmly, shaking her head.
    ‘In any case, I’ve got loads of parties on around Christmas, work things, you know, so I’m OK to stay in London,’ Lilah said, with a little shrug.
    ‘Oh. Well…’
    ‘Christmas in Ireland will be fun, though, won’t it?’ Nat asked her. ‘You get on well with Conor’s family, don’t you?’
    ‘I do. I do. It’s just…’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m just a little annoyed. And I promise you I’m going to stop complaining, any minute now, but the thing that bugs me, the thing that drives me mental, is that he didn’t even ask me. I was just told: we’re not going to the French house, we’re going to Cork! Just presented to me, fait accompli. It was the same with the thing about Dan, it wasn’t even a discussion, it was just: Dan’s coming to stay for a couple of weeks, fait accompli. It’s just… infuriating. I mean, I don’t even mind Dan staying. I like having Dan around, but it’s the way the decision was just made for me, you know?’
    Natalie and Lilah exchanged a look. Jen wasn’t quite sure what the look meant, but she was sure she didn’t like it.
    ‘What? What?’
    ‘Well…’ Lilah shrugged, giggled, drank some more of her drink.
    ‘It’s not really such a new thing, is it?’ Nat said, playing with the cocktail stick in her glass.
    ‘What do you mean?’ She couldn’t imagine what they were talking about.
    ‘He’s always been like that,’ Lilah said matter-of-factly. ‘He takes control. He’s an alpha male. You like that about him. Well, you used to like it anyway. You’ve always let him make decisions for you.’
    ‘I have not. I absolutely have not.’ Lilah didn’t know what she was talking about, she was wasted. But Natalie was nodding, a half smile on her lips, as though she agreed with what Lilah was saying.
    Jen stomped off to the loos, irritated. Had she always let Conor make decisions for her, she wondered, grumpily and rather sloppily reapplying her lipstick. She didn’t feel as though she had. She wasn’t that sort of person, was she? She wasn’t some meek little girl running around after her boyfriend. It was absolute bollocks.
    By the time she got back to the table, they’d bought yet another round. Jen felt a little sick – she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, it was probably time to call it a night.
    ‘You can’t go now!’ Lilah protested when she said as much. ‘It’s quarter past ten. There’s a thing later, some people from work are going, it’s at a club somewhere…’
    She leaned forward and tidied up Jen’s lipstick with the edge of her thumb.
    ‘Don’t be cross, sweetie,’ she purred.
    Jen could feel the eyes of the blokes at the next table on them, watching Lilah touch her face. She smiled.
    ‘I’m not cross, I’m just knackered. I think I ought to just go home.’
    ‘Oh, all right then,’ Lilah said, pouting. ‘Give my love to your annoying boyfriend. And to Dan. How has it been with Dan, anyway? Is he driving you mental, too?’
    ‘Weirdly, no,’ Jen said. ‘It’s been nice having him there. Conor’s working ridiculous hours most of the time, so it’s been fun to have someone there to hang out with, go to the cinema, watch
ER
.’ She started laughing. ‘He does this hilarious thing where he dances to the
ER
theme music… you kind of have to be there. And I cook for him, because, you know, he’s totally undomesticated, can’t do anything for himself. It’s nice. It’s like looking after a stray.’ She was babbling a little and she wasn’t sure why – she really was drunk, she could feel a