The Science of Discworld II

frightening. I remember writing that down in my diary.’
    â€˜You wrote down in your diary that you were scared?’
    â€˜Yes. Why not? Don’t you?’
    â€˜I haven’t got a big enough diary. But it makes no sense! There’s nothing on the Roundworld that elves would be interested in! They like to have … slaves. And we’ve never seen anything evolve that’s bright enough to be a slave.’
    â€˜You might have missed something,’ said Ponder.
    â€˜No, I say you, you say we,’ said Rincewind.
    They both stared at the globe.
    â€˜Look, it’s like having a pot plant,’ said Ponder. ‘If it has greenfly, you try to squash them.’
    â€˜ I never do that,’ said Rincewind. ‘Greenfly may be small, but there’s a lot of them …’
    â€˜It was a metaphor, Rincewind,’ said Ponder, wearily.
    â€˜â€¦ I mean, supposing they decide to gang up?’
    â€˜Rincewind, you are the only other person here who knows anything at all about Roundworld. You will come with us or … or … I’ll tell the Archchancellor about the seven buckets.’
    â€˜How do you know about the seven buckets?’
    â€˜ And I’ll explain to him how all of your jobs could easily be done by a simple set of instructions for Hex, too. It’d take me about, oh, thirty seconds. Let’s see …
    # Rincewind
    SUB WAIT
    WAIT
    RETURN
    Or possibly
    RUN RINCEWIND’
    â€˜You wouldn’t do that!’ said Rincewind. ‘Would you?’
    â€˜Certainly. Now, are you coming? Oh, and bring the Luggage.’
    Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass, and on that simple equation rests the whole of L-space. It is via L-space that all books are connected (quoting the ones before them, and influencing the ones that come after). But there is no time in L-space. Nor is there, strictly speaking, any space. Nevertheless, L-space is infinitely large and connects all libraries, everywhere and everywhen. It’s never further than the other side of the bookshelf, yet only the most senior and respected librarians know the way in.
    From inside, L-space looked to Rincewind like a library designed by someone who did not have to worry about time, budget, strength of materials or physics. There are some laws, though, that are coded into the very nature of the universe, and one is: There Is Never Enough Shelf Space. 1
    He turned and looked back. They’d entered L-space by walking through what had looked like a solid wall of books. He knew it was a solid wall, he’d taken books off those shelves before now. You had to be a very senior Librarian indeed to know in what precise circumstances you could step straight through it.
    He could still see the library through the gap, but it faded from view as he watched. What remained was books. Mountains of books. Hills and valleys of books. Perilous precipices of books. Even in whatpassed for the sky, which was a sort of blue grey, there was a distant suggestion of books. There is never enough shelf space, anywhere.
    Ponder was carrying a considerable amount of magical equipment. Rincewind, being a more experienced traveller, was carrying as little weight as possible. Everything else was being carried by the Luggage, which looked like a sea chest but with a number of pink, human-like and fully operational feet.
    â€˜Under the rules of the Roundworld, magic can’t work,’ said Ponder, as they followed the Librarian. ‘Won’t the Luggage stop existing?’
    â€˜It’s worth a try,’ said Rincewind, who felt that owning a semi-sapient and occasionally homicidal box on legs reduced his opportunities to make live friends, ‘but it doesn’t usually worry about rules. They bend round it. Anyway, it’s already been there before, for a very long time, without any damage. To the Luggage, anyway.’
    The walls of books shifted as the wizards approached; in fact, each step radically changed the nature of the bookscape which was in any case, said Ponder, a mere metaphorical depiction created by their brains to allow them to deal with the unimaginable reality. The shifting perspective would have given most people a serious headache at least, but Unseen University had rooms where the gravity moved around during the course of a day, one corridor of infinite length and several windows that only existed on one side of their walls. Life at UU reduced your capacity for