The Selection (Selection - Trilogy)

Maxon visiting earlier this week, I decided sending them out as early as possible was the best way to go. Besides, I couldn’t bear to have them watching me until he showed up.
    “No, no. I’m fine. If I have a problem with the dress later, I’ll ring.”
    They reluctantly backed out the door and left me to wait for Maxon. I didn’t know how long he’d be, and I didn’t want to start a book and have to stop, or sit down at the piano only to hop right back up. I ended up just lounging on the bed, waiting. I let my mind wander. I thought of Marlee and her kindness. I realized that, besides a few small details, I knew very little about her. Still, I trusted that her actions toward me were in no way fake. And then I thought of the girls who were all too fake. I wondered if Maxon could tell the difference.
    It seemed like Maxon’s experience with women was so great and so small at once. He was gentlemanly enough, but when he got too close, he came undone. It was like he knew how to treat a lady, he just didn’t know how to treat a date.
    It was quite a contrast to Aspen.
    Aspen.
    His name, his face, his memory hit me so quickly it was hard to process. Aspen. What was he doing now? It was getting close to curfew in Carolina. He’d still be at work, if he had a job today. Or maybe out with Brenna, or whoever else he’d decided to start spending his time with since we broke up. Part of me ached to know … part of me wanted to crumble just thinking about it.
    I looked over to my jar. I picked it up and felt the penny slide around, so lonely.
    “Me, too,” I whispered. “Me, too.”
    Was it stupid of me to keep this? I’d given back everything else, so why save one little penny? Would this be all I had left? A penny in a jar to show my daughter one day, to tell her about my first boyfriend—the one no one knew about?
    I didn’t have time to dwell on my worries. Maxon’s firm knock came only minutes later. I found myself running to the door.
    I drew it open in a big sweep, and Maxon looked surprised to see me.
    “Where in the world are your maids?” he asked, surveying my room.
    “Gone. I send them off when I come back from dinner.”
    “Every day?”
    “Yes, of course. I can take my clothes off by myself, thank you.”
    Maxon raised his eyebrows and smiled. I blushed. I hadn’t meant it to come out like that.
    “Grab a wrap. It’s chilly out.”
    We walked down the hall. I was still a little distracted by my thoughts, and I knew by now that Maxon wasn’t great with starting conversations. I had looped my hand around his arm almost immediately, though. I was glad that there was a sort of familiarity there.
    “If you insist on not keeping your maids around, I’m going to have to post a guard outside your door,” he said.
    “No! I don’t like being babysat.”
    He chuckled. “He’d be outside . You wouldn’t even know he was there.”
    “I would too,” I complained. “I’d sense his presence.”
    Maxon made a playfully exhausted sigh. I was so busy arguing, I didn’t hear the whispers until they were practically in front of us. Celeste, Emmica, and Tiny were heading past us toward their rooms.
    “Ladies,” Maxon said, and gave a small head nod.
    I supposed it was foolish to think no one would see us together. I felt my face heat up, but I wasn’t sure why.
    The girls all curtsied and carried on their way. I looked over my shoulder at them as we went toward the stairs. Emmica and Tiny looked curious. Within minutes, they would be telling others about this. I would be cornered tomorrow for sure. Celeste was staring daggers at me. I was sure she thought I had personally wronged her.
    I turned away and said the first thing that came to mind.
    “I told you the girls who got nervous about the attack would end up staying.” I didn’t know exactly who had asked to leave, but rumors pointed to Tiny as being one. She had fainted. Someone else had said Bariel, but I knew that was a lie. You’d have to pry the crown out of her cold dead hands first.
    “You can’t imagine what a relief that was.” He sounded sincere.
    It took me a moment to think of how to respond, as that wasn’t quite what I was expecting, and I was very focused on not falling. I didn’t know how to take steps down very well while holding on to someone else. The heels didn’t help. At least if I slipped, he would grab me.
    “I would have thought it would be helpful in a way,” I said as we made it to the first floor