The Selection (Selection - Trilogy)

hadn’t realized how eager I was to see him. I stood by the table in a daze.
    “Do forgive me, but I need to speak with Lady America. Would you give us a moment?”
    There was more curtsying and giggling, and Anne asked—with a tone that implied near worship of the prince—if she could bring him anything. Maxon declined, and they left us. He had his hands in his pockets. We were silent for a while.
    “I thought you might not keep me,” I finally admitted.
    “Why?” he asked, sounding honestly confused.
    “Because we fought. Because everything between us is weird. Because…” Because even though you’re dating five other women, I think I’m cheating on you , I thought.
    Maxon closed the distance between us slowly, choosing his words as he walked. When he finally reached me, he picked up my hands in his and explained everything.
    “First, let me say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” His voice was completely sincere. “It’s just that some of the committees and my father are already pressuring me in this, and I truly want to be able to make the decision for myself. It was frustrating to run into another situation where my opinion wasn’t being taken seriously.”
    “Another situation?” I asked.
    “Well, you’ve seen my choices. Marlee is a favorite with the people, and that cannot be overlooked. Celeste is a very powerful young woman, and she comes from an excellent family to align ourselves with. Natalie and Kriss are charming girls, both very agreeable and favorites of some in my family. Elise happens to have relations in New Asia. Since we’re trying to end this damn war, that is something to take into consideration. I’ve been debated down and cornered from every side on this decision.”
    There was no explanation for me, and I almost didn’t ask for it. I knew that we were friends first and that I had no political uses at all. But I needed to hear the words so I could make the decision for myself. I couldn’t look him in the eye.
    “And why am I still here?” My voice was barely above a whisper. I was sure this was going to hurt. In the pit of my stomach I was sure I was only still here because he was too good to break his promise.
    “America, I thought I’d made myself clear,” Maxon said calmly. He let out a patient sigh and used his hand to nudge up my chin. When I was finally looking into his eyes, he confessed.
    “If this were a simpler matter, I’d have eliminated everyone else by now. I know how I feel about you. Maybe it’s impulsive of me to think I could be so sure, but I’m certain I would be happy with you.”
    I blushed. I could feel tears rising, but I blinked them away. The expression on his face was so adoring, I didn’t want to miss it.
    “There are moments when I feel like you and I have broken down every last wall, and then others when I think you only want to stay for convenience. If I knew for sure that I, and I alone, was your motivation…”
    He paused and shook his head, as if the end of his sentence was something he couldn’t let himself want.
    “Would I be wrong in saying that you’re still unsure of me?”
    I didn’t want to hurt him, but I had to be honest. “No.”
    “Then I have to hedge my bets. You may decide to leave, and I will let you go if you do. In the meantime, I have to find a wife. I’m trying to make the best decision I can within the boundaries I’ve been given, but please, don’t doubt for a moment that I care for you. Deeply.”
    I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I thought about Aspen and what I’d done, and I felt so ashamed.
    “Maxon?” I sniffed. “Can you … can you ever forgive—?” I didn’t get to finish my confession. He came even closer and started sweeping the tears off my face with his strong fingers.
    “Forgive what? Our stupid little fight? It’s already forgotten. Your feelings being a little slower than mine? I’m prepared to wait,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do that I couldn’t forgive. Need I remind you of the knee to my groin?”
    I couldn’t help but laugh. Maxon chuckled once, then became suddenly serious.
    “What’s wrong?” I asked.
    He shook his head. “They were so fast this time.” Maxon’s voice was full of an aggravated wonder at the talents of the rebels. I suddenly wondered how close to disaster I had come by trying to save my maids.
    “I’m getting more and more worried, America. North or South, they’re