The Twelve Kingdoms: Shadow of the Moon

matter, how long it had been since she left home. She had no idea where she was or where she was going and by this point she didn't much care.
    When the night came she drew the sword and stood her ground. When the enemy came they fought. When the morning came she found a place to make her bed and slept. And so her life went on.
    Gripping the jewel and using the sword as a cane became natural to her. If there were no enemies about, she sat down. When they attacked at longer intervals, she dragged herself along. If there were no people around, instead of talking she moaned and groaned constantly.
    Her hunger became attached to her thoughts. It became part of her consciousness. When starvation threatened, she flayed the dead body of a youma. It had a strange smell and she could not even hold the meat in her mouth. Occasionally she brought down a wild animal. She tried to eat it but her body could no longer handle solid food.

    She struggled through countless nights to meet the dawn.

    Leaving the road to forge deeper into the mountains, she tripped over a tree root and tumbled down a long slope. Casting care aside, she slept where she fell. She did not even bother to scout out her surroundings first.
    She slept without dreams. When she awoke, she found she could not stand, no matter how hard she tried. She was in a shaded hollow within a sparse copse of trees. The sun was already setting and night was falling. If she stayed here like this, if she could not get up and move, she would become a youma's next meal. Even against impossible odds, Jouyuu could hold off one or two attacks. Beyond that, her body would become a useless tool.
    Youko dug her fingers into the earth. No matter what, she had to get back to the road.
    If she couldn't get back to the road and find somebody to help her, she would die here. She raised her head and searched for the jewel. But even gripping the jewel with all her might, she could not drive the sword into the ground to leverage herself up.
    "No one's coming to help," an unexpected voice said.
    Youko turned her head. This was the first time she had heard him during the daytime.
    "You might as well make yourself comfortable right here, no?"
    All Youko could focus on was the monkey's fur, shimmering like blown powder. All she could think was, why was he showing up now?
    "Even if you do manage to crawl back to the road, you'll probably only end up getting arrested. Though if you asked for help, they might give it. They might be the type who would put you out of your misery, just like that."
    That was undoubtedly what would happen, she thought as well.
    She wouldn't ask anybody for help. Now when her need was the most pressing was when she should expect help the least. Even if she got back to the road, there would be no help forthcoming. If somebody were to pass along the way, they would look the other way. This filthy vagrant would provoke nothing more than a grimace.
    On the other hand, maybe she'd only get mugged. But a thief would figure out pretty quick she didn't have anything worth stealing and take the sword. Perhaps he would be kind enough to finish her off there and then. That was the kind of a place this world was.
    Then all at once a new thought occurred to her. The monkey fed off her hopelessness and despair. Like some kind of emotional vampire, he exposed all the anxieties and insecurities hidden in her heart and used them to crush her spirits.
    Youko giggled. It felt good unraveling this small puzzle. She rolled over, gathered strength into arms and pushed herself into a sitting position.
    "Now, wouldn't it be easier if you threw in the towel?"
    "Oh, shut up."
    "Why not take it easy?"
    "Shut it."
    Youko drove the sword into the ground. Her strained knee almost gave out. She screamed, grabbed hold of the hilt of the sword, caught herself. She almost stood but lost her balance. Her body was too heavy to move like this. It'd be better to crawl along the ground, like an animal newly born.
    "You want to live that badly, do you? And what will living get you?"
    "Home."
    "Oh, why torment yourself so? No matter how much you hold on to life now, you can't go back."
    "I'm going home."
    "You cannot go home. There is no way to cross the Kyokai. Here, in this country, you will be betrayed and you will die."
    "You're lying."
    She would trust only the sword. Youko gripped the hilt and focused on the strength in her hands. Depend on no one, trust no one. Only the sword would protect her.
    And then .