The Twelve Kingdoms: Shadow of the Moon

it. She always pretended that she was above it all. Fact was, she was a coward."
    "I see."
    "Like she was a better person than anybody else, like she felt sorry for me. But she wouldn't do anything to stop it. That's what pissed me off the most."
    "Understandable."
    "Whether she ran away or got kidnapped or whatever, I couldn't care less. As far as I'm concerned, I was the victim and she was one of the perpetrators. I'm not going to sit here and act all sorry for her. I don't want to be a hypocrite like her. I suppose that gives me a motive, huh? But I'm glad she's gone. That's the truth."

    She's not that kind of person, her mother insisted. Her mother sat there with a distressed look on her face. "She was a good girl. She wasn't the kind of girl who would run away from home or get mixed up with such unsavory types."
    "Apparently she wasn't completely happy at home."
    Her mother looked surprised. "Youko? Nothing of the sort."
    "Her classmates had much to say on the subject. 'Her parents are really strict,' things like that."
    "We did discipline her at times, but nothing more than what any parent would do. No, that has nothing to do with it. She had nothing to be dissatisfied with at home, not in the least."
    "You're saying you knew of no reason for her to run away from home?"
    "None at all. She would never do anything like that."
    "Are you familiar with this boy who came to see her at school?"
    "No. She's not the kind of girl who would associate with such people."
    "Well, then, what do you think accounts for her disappearance?"
    "Somebody kidnapped her on her way home from school."
    "Unfortunately, there is no evidence for that. Youko left the principal's office together with the boy. After that we believe they went somewhere else. It doesn't mean she wasn't taken against her will. But several of the teachers said that they appeared to be on intimate terms."
    Her mother hung her head.
    "You say that your daughter didn't have a boyfriend. Perhaps she was involved in some other type of relationship. A shared acquaintance, for example. Anything we could use to begin a search with . . . . "
    "Did they really say Youko wasn't happy with the way things were at home?"
    "So it seems."
    Her mother buried her face in her hands. "I never sensed that there was anything she was unhappy about. She's not the kind of girl who would run away from home, or would make bad friends behind our backs. She's not the kind of girl who would get involved in things like that."
    "Teenagers don't usually reveal their true selves to their parents."
    "Hearing about what goes on in other people's homes, it does make me wonder what kind of a person Youko really is. When I think about it now, perhaps I should have looked harder at anything that struck me as unusual."
    "Indeed, children don't always turn out in ways that are convenient for their parents. My own kid is quite the little brat."
    "Yes, I guess that must be it. She always showed us her good side. We dealt with her on the basis of outward appearances and ended up being deceived. Children will use their trust against you."
    No, Mom, it's not true . . . .
    Youko wanted to weep, but no tears would come. It's not true, she wanted to scream but her mouth only formed the shape of the words. As with the silent click of a switch, the vision disappeared.
    The ground around her was covered with puddles, her head half buried in the mud. She did not have the strength left to stand up. No one could have possibly imagined that she would have ended up here, in this condition. Knowing nothing, that's how they could come to such convenient conclusions.
    Cast into this world, starving, covered with wounds, not even able to rise, and despite everything, her desire to go home had made it all possible to bear. But in truth, what she had seen were the only human relationships of any merit at all that she could claim in her home country.
    What did I think I was going home to?
    No one was waiting for her. She had nothing there and no one who understood her. Being deceived, being betrayed, being here or being there, it made no difference at all.
    Yes, I get it now.
    And still, she wanted to go home. She found it strangely funny. She wanted to roar with laughter but the cold rain had left her face too numb. She wanted to cry as well but she had no tears left in her.
    Whatever.
    Whatever happened, it was all good. Because very soon it would all go away.

Part V
    ain fell like slender threads scattered by the wind.