The Twelve Kingdoms: The Shore in Twilight

doing your best to shield me from anything unpleasant or frightening. It was the same way when Gyousou disappeared."
    "Taiho--"
    "I was really worried about Gyousou-sama. But nobody would give me a straight answer. Well, what you told me may have been the truth. But I knew that all the adults around me were hiding anything unpleasant from my eyes. So I had to turn to Asen to find out anything that was not sugar-coated."
    Risai caught her breath.
    "Asen told me that Gyousou-sama was in danger. That day as well, he said that he had been ambushed and was in dire straits. After saying that he had arrived safely in Bun Province, I found myself no longer able to trust you. I believed Asen when he told me that a fierce attack had been launched before they arrived, and the outcome was uncertain. Desiring to help him, I dispatched my shirei to help Gyousou-sama. I never doubted Asen for a second. In fact, I came to question the veracity of anybody who told me anything other than bad news."
    Taiki smiled thinly. "I really was a child, and very hard to please. Whatever I tried to do only caused Risai and everybody else more problems, and now is no different."
    "Taiho, don't say such things--"
    "But Risai, I am no longer a child. To be sure, speaking in terms of my abilities, I was much more capable then. I could be said to be quite helpless now. Still, I am not so immature that I could be content to bemoan my helpless state and settle for the safe status quo."
    "Taiho--"
    "Somebody must save Tai. If not we citizens of Tai, then who?"
    "But--then--let's go back to Mt. Hou and confer again with Genkun, to see if there is anything we can do to save Tai."
    "And what, may I ask, do you think she will do on our behalf?"
    Risai didn't know how to reply.
    "And can Heaven be so relied upon? Only those under its personal care and protection can rest well knowing that help will come. At what point did the people of Tai become the property of Heaven?"
    "But Taiki--"
    "I have learned something of the steps you took to seek assistance from Kei. If you had not done so, I most definitely would never have made it back here. I am not so naive as to believe that nothing is beyond our power to accomplish. It may be beyond the power of a horn-less kirin and a one-armed general to save Tai in her current state. But, Risai--"
    Taiki grasped Risai's remaining hand. "This was never something we were destined to accomplish through the strength of our own wills alone. If, unable to pull Tai back from the brink from here, we conclude that there is nothing we can ever do and so do nothing, we will forever lose the right to call ourselves citizens of Tai."
    p. 242
    But of course, Risai thought, looking back at him.
    She had never understood why she wanted to save Tai. At the same time, she couldn't help being aware of how quickly she lost that feeling when Taiki was right there in front of her. As far as she was concerned, if Taiki was safe--if she could guarantee his safety--then that was the same as keeping Tai safe as well.
    Even if that safety came from residing in Kei and she did not actually contribute to it herself--as long as Taiki was safe, then Tai was kept safe inside her. Protecting Tai had become for her the same as preserving something that belonged to her, her motherland. And if she could not and it was destroyed, then as an extension of Tai, it would become her fault.
    But as long as she could keep Taiki safe, Tai would never be lost to her.
    "We are citizens of Tai. If we reach out to others as citizens of Tai, then there are duties and responsibilities we also bear as her people. If we cast them aside, then Tai is lost to us."
    Losing that place to which they were connected was no different than losing themselves.
    Risai had lost her royal position and her friends and colleagues. Kaei had become a distant memory. Apart from her connection to a place called Tai, she had nothing. It had to be saved so that she would not lose herself.
    Now that she had Taiki, and as long as she held on to him, Tai remained alive within her. Here in Kei she knew where she stood. The prospect of leaving was terrifying. But for Tai, its people, Gyousou, all those imprisoned within its borders and all those who had lost their lives there, remaining here was nothing but a betrayal.
    They had no other recourse except to leave this safe redoubt and return to Tai.
    She looked at her hand, her vision clouded with tears. The hand holding her hand was indistinguishable