The Vincent Boys 01 - The Vincent Boys

counted backwards from ten in my head. Every once in a while the counting thing took the edge off. When I was sure I could respond without sounding livid I said the first thing that came to my mind.
    “When we were kids Beau was just as close to me as you were. He sat on my Grana’s porch just as many times as you did. He ate my Grana’s cookies and played Uno with her just like you. She was a part of his childhood. One of the few bright spots. He knew you were gone and he knew I would be devastated. So he came to the church and asked me if I’d gone up to see her. I admitted I hadn’t and wasn’t sure I could. He then encouraged me to go say my goodbyes and said he’d walk with me. I guess he saw the fear in my eyes and he reached down and took my hand. Then we walked together to the front of the church. He let my hand go and stepped back while I had my last few moments of closure with Grana. Then he took my hand and walked me out of the church because, like you, he knows when I’m about to lose it. And he knows the little girl inside enough to know I didn’t want to break down in front of everyone and have them hovering around me.”
    We sat in silence for a few minutes. I’d heard the anger in my tone. No doubt he had too.
    “Remind me to thank him for watching out for my girl. I owe him one. It’s about time you two realized you were best friends for most of your life. I always felt a little guilty it had ended.”
    There he went again talking about how he felt guilty. I just wanted to go home and bury myself under the covers. This was too much to deal with right now. The guilt, the anger, the frustration, the pain—it was all going to drive me insane.

Chapter 12
    We walked toward the bonfire. I’d decided against telling Sawyer about Ryan’s stupid drunken episode last week. It was over now and it hadn’t been so bad after all. Of course Ryan touching me was gross but I’d ended the evening with Beau playing pool. The memory of him grinning across the pool table at me as I set up my shot caused my heart to ache. I missed him so much.
    As we made our way into the clearing several people stopped Sawyer and welcomed him home. Everyone wanted to talk football. I smiled and appeared to be waiting patiently while scanning the crowd for Beau. I hadn’t seen him since I’d walked out of his trailer without a goodbye. Every night since then I’d laid in my bed holding my phone, willing him to call or at least text me. But he hadn’t. The idea that things would go back to the way they had been before terrified me. I couldn’t be with him the way I wanted but I didn’t want to lose everything. My anger at the way he’d dismissed me had dimmed. Now I just wanted to see him. Talk to him. See him smile at me.
    “Come on, I see Beau and Nicole over there,” Sawyer said as he slipped his hand behind my back and led me over to a small group of football players and their girlfriends. The group was sitting on the tailgate of a few trucks and three old tractor tires they’d hauled out here years ago for seating. A small fire crackled in the middle of the group, putting a warm glow on all their faces.
    “Sawyer. The man has returned,” Ethan Payne said, grinning from his spot on the tailgate of his truck. Brooke Milery snuggled up against him and lifted a hand to wiggle her bright pink nails at us in greeting. They’d broken up last spring but apparently they were back together or heading in that direction. Her legs were draped over his lap and his hand was tucked snugly between her thighs.
    “Come talk to us. Tell us how you’re going to lead us to State,” said Toby Horn, who I knew played cornerback because he’d intercepted a pass at the state championship game last year then ran it in by jumping over two tackles before making a touchdown to win us the game. After the game his status level had risen. Which would explain why the head cheerleader, Kayla Jenkins, was sitting in his lap. She’d been determined to get Beau’s attention last year. It appeared as if she had moved on.
    “I’m not the one who nailed the win at the last state game,” Sawyer reminded him as he leaned against the truck and pulled me back against him.
    “You know that’s right. I think we need to make sure coach gives our star corner some more wide receiver action,” Ethan piped in.
    “Agreed,” Sawyer replied.
    They continued to talk football but I couldn’t pay attention. Beau was directly across from me. It