The Wicked Flea

pains to emphasize, Althea was the elder sister. As I’ve probably made clear by now, Ceci was the silly one. Anyway, Althea never made frivolous requests. Consequently, when she phoned to ask for my help, I had to say yes.
    “Two Adventuresses are calling on me this afternoon,” Althea explained. The capital A rang in her voice. Althea’s eyesight was poor, but her hearing remained acute, and she didn’t shout. The capital pealed and chimed to distinguish the exalted New York visitors from run-of-the-mill, lowercase female adventurers who might pop in to advance some nefarious scheme by questionable or ruthless means. Indeed, Althea was herself an Adventuress, which is to say, a member of the ultra elite Adventuresses of Sherlock Holmes.
    “The game is afoot!” I dutifully replied.
    A lower-case, lower-class adventuress would have gone on to offer a trumped-up excuse for begging me to get Ceci out of the house or might even have spat out the truth. Capitalized Adventuresses, however, are extremely genteel. Althea didn’t feign concern that Ceci would be bored by the Holmesian visit, and she didn’t say outright that even in the presence of three Adventuresses, the game would never really get afoot with Ceci underfoot. Rather, she took the refined course of trusting me to use my common sense. “Could I prevail on you, Holly, to take Ceci and Quest to the park?” she asked. “My visitors are due here at two o’clock, and they don’t have time for a long visit. I expect they’ll be gone by four-thirty.”
    I agreed. About a minute after I hung up, the phone rang again. This time, it was was Ceci, who said, “I have a tremendous favor to ask you, not for myself, really, for Althea, who really does enjoy life, you know, despite the toll the years have taken on her. She’s considerably older than I am, although we avoid mentioning it, but there it is, and facts are facts, and the fact is that she has friends stopping in this afternoon, two of them, Sherlock Holmes lunatics just like my sister and my late husband, of course, Ellis. These two are Adventuresses of Sherlock Holmes, which Althea is, too, ridiculous name, it makes them sound like women of ill repute, and the three of them are going to gab nonstop about the Canon and the Master and copper beeches and speckled bands and dancing men, which I can follow, more or less, but half of what they say about teapots and lions is completely lost on me, and the truth is that it’s very boring to sit and listen to people go on and on in some foreign language you don’t speak and don’t care to learn, besides which if I’m here, despite all good intentions, I’ll spoil the fun.” She stopped to catch her breath. “I don’t want to be rude and go running out of the house on my own as if I want to avoid the Adventuresses, so could you possibly insist that I have to go somewhere with you? Anywhere at all!”
    “I’d be delighted,” I said.
    “The park would be lovely,” Ceci said, “and the Adventuresses are arriving at two, so we can get there when it’s still nice and sunny out and before too many other people get there, but if we stay long enough, Douglas could turn up, has he called you yet?”
     

     
    Rowdy and I picked up Ceci and Quest at quarter of two. Rowdy, as usual, refused to admit that a monumental black male dog was occupying space in the Bronco that properly belonged to Kimi or to no one. As we drove to the park, I half-envied Rowdy his ability to pretend that Quest didn’t exist. If I’d known the secret of Rowdy’s mental knack, I’d have applied it to blotting out Ceci.
    “Things at the park have really not been the same since that policewoman arrested poor Sylvia,” Ceci rambled, “although I have been going there just the same because I feel that it’s important for Quest to have the physical and mental stimulation, and I must admit that in terms of Zsa Zsa, things are better because miracle of miracles Sylvia has been keeping her on leash lately, not that Zsa Zsa is the nicest dog in the world even on leash, but it does help, has Douglas called you? Or have I asked you that already?”
    She had. Repeatedly. I was almost sorry to have to admit that Douglas hadn’t called, not because I had any romantic interest in him but because I’d have liked the chance to discuss Dr. Foote with another one of her patients. Specifically, I had the unaccountable sensation that something about me made Dr. Foote nervous, and I