The Zen of Trauma

“sacred” world as our benchmark, we constantly find our “profane” world lacking and thus suffer.

   Yet, search for the end of the rainbow we do. It seems to me that the interesting thing about the sacred is that it comes often when we least expect it, like a candi d camera, it catches us unaware and off guard. Perhaps this is a condition of contact with the sacred. On the other hand, so is being open to it, ready for it, thus not candid at all. A small contradiction, I suppose, but none-the-less truthful. We cannot just go out and find the sacred. It is something that arises, at once, within and without. It is the breath of the universe itself.
     

    Meeting the Sacred, Meeting Ourselves. We meet the sacred when we allow something larger than ourselves to enter our conscious awareness. This “something larger” is not God (although we could call it that), but rather a shift in perspective from Narrow Mind to Big Mind. Because it is a shift of perspective we are recognizing that both minds exist, but that they are One Mind.

   When we allow something beautiful to be felt; when we allow ourselves to be embarrassed; when we ask someone to help us; when we feel small; when we feel large; when we see the darkness of night and the brightness of day; these are the moments we access the sacred. We are accessing the sacred as we live deliberately.

   The truth of the matter, though, is that we are all very busy (and by that I mean highly desirous of distraction) and because we are so involved with matters of consequence and the things that surround and support them, we rarely experience. We allow ourselves precious little time or desire to stop and be still. Yet, stillness has a prominent place in the religions of the world. We are to stand as if in the center of the universe, listen for the still, small voice, and wait for something to happen. Nevertheless, how can we be still with such a racket going on both inside and out? The Zen practice of Mindfulness can be helpful here.

   Mindfulness: a path of non-doing. One of the first things a trauma survivor will want to do is something, anything, to understand, cope with, avoid, or blame regards the trauma. In other words, the pain is so great that the survivor wants it to go away at any cost, including oblivion. We are an action oriented society. Sitting and watching an onion plant grow is not our i dea of doing something, either. N o, it must be something that matters, that is countable, and is above all, witnessed. In addition, w hat we do must have an end, as well. It must be completed at some point completed. The grieving process must have a resolution; the problem-solving model must have a solution, the medical model a cure. It all is equivalent: we are "ends" oriented and are uncomfortable with just sitting around waiting for something to happen. We would rather fight with the storm that surrounds us, than take a tip from a nearby duck that simply lifts his legs and floats in the choppy waters.

  
    With traumatic experience (as with a storm), there is nothing that can (or should) be done, nothing that can "make sense" of the experience. We cannot fix it or change it. It happened and here we are with it. Now what?
 
    Mindfulness Exercise:  When you are at work tak e five minutes during your work to deeply appreciate your senses.  When walking, be aware you are walking.  When sitting, be aware you are sitting.  When touching a keyboard or box or paper or cup, be aware that you are touching.  After five minutes, write down your experience then after work, examine it in detail.
 
     
    Zazen: Sit Down and Shut-Up.
    Find a space in your home with a blank wall.  Place a chair or cushion in front of it.  Sit down and face that wall.  Make sure your back is straight and your shoulders are open.  Place your palms together, left hand cradled in right with your thumbs lightly touching. Place your attention on the present.  Reside there.  If you have a thought, and you will have a thought, let that thought drift away.  Try not to move.  Sit like this for a period of time.  Relax into the moment. This is Zazen. 
    When all else fails, float on your breath, a slow, deliberate , kind of breath. The kind that makes you aware that you are alive. The sort t hat makes you aware you are within a body, sitting on the chair, bed, floor, horse or couch. There is nothing you can do, so you allow life to be done. Life happens within us and all