Too Far 02 - Never Too Far

the radio started playing again.
    I didn’t look over at Blaire but I felt her eyes on me. It was real hard not to meet her gaze.
    “You could have talked to her. She’s your sister,” Blaire said so softly I almost missed it over the music.
    “She is. But she represents things I don’t want you thinking about today.”
    Blaire didn’t stop looking at me. It was taking all my strength to keep this casual. Jerking the car over and grabbing her face and telling her how important she was and how much I loved her wasn’t what she needed right now.
    “I’m better, Rush. I’ve had time to take everything in. Deal with it. I’ll see Nan at the club. I’m prepared for that. You’re helping me today. You could be doing anything else but you chose to take the day to help me. I don’t want to keep you from taking phone calls from people you care about. I won’t break.”
    Fuck . So much for keeping this casual and easy. I pulled over onto the side of the road and slammed the Rover into park. I kept my hands to myself but I gave my full attention to Blaire. “I chose to take you today because there is nothing I’d rather do than be near you. I’m driving you because I’m a desperate man who will take whatever the hell he can get when it comes to you.” I broke down and reached over to run my thumb over her cheekbone then into the silky hair I’d been fascinated with since I’d first laid eyes on her. “I will do anything. Anything, Blaire, just to be near you. I can’t think about anything else. I can’t focus on anything. So never think you’re inconveniencing me. You need me, I’m there.” I stopped. I sounded pathetic even to my own ears. Dropping my hand from her head I shifted the Rover into gear and pulled back onto the road.
    Blaire didn’t say anything. I didn’t blame her. I’d sounded like a crazy man. She was probably scared of me now. Hell, I would be.

Blaire

    My heart was beating so hard I was sure he could hear it. This had been a bad idea. Being near him was so confusing. It was easy to forget who he was. Having him touch me, even if it was just my face, made me feel like crying. I wanted more than that. I missed him. Everything about him and I’d be lying if the idea of being this close to him all day hadn’t kept me up most of the night.
    Rush turned the radio back up when I didn’t say anything. I should say something after that but what? How did I respond to that without just causing us both more pain? Telling him I missed him and I wanted him wouldn’t make this easier. It would just be harder.
    This time when the phone rang the computer looking screen in his car flashed the name “Grant.” Rush pressed some button and then picked up his cell phone.
    “Hey,” he said into the phone. I chanced a glance over at him since his focus was no longer on me. The hard frown lines in his face made me sad. I didn’t want them there.
    “Yeah. We’re on our way,” he replied into the phone. “Don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ll call you when I’m back.” His jaw clenched and I knew whatever Grant was saying was making him mad. “I said no,” he growled and ended the call before tossing it into his cup holder.
    “You okay?” I asked before I could think that through.
    He jerked his head over to look at me. It was as if he was startled that I was talking to him. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine,” he replied in a much calmer tone then turned his eyes back on the road.
    I waited a few minutes then decided to say something about what he’d said to me. If I didn’t start talking about this with him we would always have this awkward silence between us. Even if I left in four months and never saw him again… No, I’d see him again. I would have to, wouldn’t I? Could I really never tell him about this baby? I pushed that back. I hadn’t even been to the doctor yet. I’d cross that bridge when we got to it. Even if I had thrown up again this morning when I’d opened the trash compactor and gotten a whiff of the left over fried fish Jace had tossed last night. I wasn’t normally so sensitive. The hot ginger tea I’d been drinking when Rush picked me up had helped ease my stomach. I could pretend like that pregnancy test was wrong or face the truth.
    “About what you said. I, uh, I don’t really know how to respond to that. I mean, I know how I feel and how I wish things were different but they aren’t. I want us to… I want us to find a way to be friends… maybe. I