Too Far 02 - Never Too Far

… forgot about.” I hated lying but telling her the truth was just more than I could handle.
    Darla studied me a moment then reached into the pocket of her slacks and pulled out her keys. “Take my car. I’ll be here all day. I don’t need it.”
    I wanted to hug her but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure she’d be comfortable with that kind of reaction to a simple doctor’s appointment. “Thank you so much. I’ll put gas in it,” I assured her.
    She nodded and waved me on. I hurried down the steps and climbed into her Cadillac to head toward Destin.

    The drive over wasn’t bad and I only had to wait fifteen minutes before they called me back to the exam room. The nurse was all smiles as she pulled out a machine with a small screen on it.
    “You’re only ten weeks along so to hear the baby’s heartbeat we’re gonna need to do an ultrasound. We should hear the heartbeat and see a little bitty baby in there too,” she explained.
    I was going to see my baby and hear it’s heartbeat. This was real. The few times I’d imagined this day I hadn’t imaged being alone. I had thought someone would be with me. What if they can’t find a heartbeat? What if something is wrong? I didn’t want to be alone for this.
    The doctor walked in with a comforting smile. “You look terrified. This is a happy moment. All your vitals are good. No need to be so nervous,” he assured me. “Now lay back.” I did as he instructed and the nurse put my legs up in the stirrups.
    “You aren’t far enough along to do this externally and be able to see or hear the baby. We need to do a transvaginal ultrasound which means we need to go in vaginally. It doesn’t hurt. You’ll feel some pressure from the wand, that’s all,” the nurse explained.
    I didn’t watch them. The idea of him sticking a wand up me only made this worse. I focused on the screen.
“Okay, here we go. Easy, be still,” the doctor instructed. I watched the black and white screen, waiting patiently for something that resembled a baby.
    A small thumping sound filled the room and it felt like my own heart had stopped beating.
    “Is that…?” I asked, suddenly unable to say anything else.
    “That’s it alright. Thumping just right too. Nice and strong,” the doctor replied.
    I stared at the screen and the nurse pointed to what looked like a little pea. “There he or she is. Perfect size for ten weeks.”
    I couldn’t swallow past the lump in my throat. Tears rolled down my face but I didn’t care. I just sat transfixed looking at the tiny miracle on the screen while his heartbeat filled the room.
    “You and the baby are both doing excellently,” the doctor said as he slowly pulled the instrument from inside me and the nurse pulled down my gown and gave me her hand to pull me up.
    “A little blood tinged discharge is perfectly normal after this procedure so don’t be alarmed,” the doctor said, standing up and going over to the sink to wash his hands.
    “Keep taking those prenatal vitamins and come back to see me in four weeks.”
    I nodded. I was still in awe.
    “Here you go,” the nurse said, handing me a small pictures from my ultrasound.
    “These are mine?” I asked, looking down at the pictures of my baby.
    “Of course they are,” she replied with an amused tone.
    “Thank you,” I said as I looked at each one and found the small pea I knew was alive inside me.
    “You’re welcome.” She patted my knee. “You can get dressed now. Everything looks great.”
    I nodded and wiped away another tear that had broken free and was rolling down my face.

Rush

    “Where is she, Bethy?” I demanded walking out of Blaire’s bedroom holding her cell phone. She’d left it here.
    Bethy snarled at me and slammed a kitchen cabinet door. “The fact your sorry ass doesn’t know where she is only makes me hate you more.”
    What the fuck was wrong with her? I’d had a day from hell. Telling my mom she had to get another house and then telling them I was going to ask Blaire to marry me had sent them all into a wild rage. Well, not all of them. Blaire’s father had seemed fine with it. Nan and my mother had gone ballistic. We’d spent several hours yelling at each other and I’d made threats I intended to keep. Nan was supposed to leave to go back to school on Monday. She’d be gone until winter break and I was sure she’d end up in Vail with friends then. It was what she did every year. Normally I went too but not this year.
    “I’ve had to