Too Far 02 - Never Too Far

even more furious that your father had done this yet again with no intention of doing right by Georgie. So I called him and told him I wanted to talk to him. The talk didn’t go well. He said that the baby wasn’t his. If it was his he’d gladly claim it but it wasn’t. She’d been sleeping with the lead singer of Slacker Demon for over a month. The baby wasKiro’s and well, you’ve grown up around Kiro. You know him well enough to know he isn’t father material.”
    Kiro was Nan’s father? I buried my face in my hands as different memories came back to me. Kiro coming over late yelling and cursing at my mom about stealing his kid.Kiro calling my mom a cheap slut and hoping ‘his girl’ didn’t end up the same way. I’d forgotten those things. Or I’d just blocked them out.
    “Through this Becca and I got closer. Dean took you and swore he was going to take care of what was his. Your mother cursed and shoved Becca down a flight of stairs calling her names I will not repeat and told us both to leave after she caught me kissing Becca one night. We left after that. Becca cried a lot because she was worried about you. She always worried about you.”
    When he talked about Becca all I could see was Blaire’s face. Her sweet innocent face and my chest felt like it was about to explode.
    “I asked Becca to marry me. She agreed. Weeks after our honeymoon we found out she was pregnant with twins. Those girls were my world. I adored the ground they walked on just as much as I adored their mother. Never a day went by that I wasn’t thankful for the life I’d been given.” He stopped and choked on a sob.
    “Then one day Val and I were driving back from shopping. We’d gone to get her some shoes for volleyball. Her foot had grown over the summer but Blaire’s hadn’t. They were nearly identical but it was starting to look like Blaire might be the shorter one out of the two. We were laughing about me singing along to some silly boy band on the radio. I missed… I missed the red light. We were hit on Val’s side of the car by a truck going eighty miles an hour.” He stopped and ran a hand over his face to wipe the tears and let out another sob.
    “I lost my baby girl. I hadn’t been paying attention. With her, I lost my wife who couldn’t look at me and my other daughter who was only a shell of the girl she’d been. Then you showed up with that picture of Nanette and instead of sticking it out and being the man my girls needed me to be, I fled. I told myself they deserved more than I could give them. I’d never be able to forgive myself. I’d never be able to move on and seeing me would only hurt them more. So I left them. I hated myself then; I hate myself now. But I’m a weak man. I should have stayed. When I found out Becca was sick I went on a drinking binge. The idea of a world without Becca in it was impossible for me to accept. But going to see my vibrant wife, who I loved and will always love, lying there dying wasn’t something I could do. I’d buried my daughter. I couldn’t bury my wife. Because I was weak I left my baby girl to bury her momma. I will never forgive myself for that.” He finally looked my way.
    “All you see is a selfish man who only thinks of himself. You’re right. I don’t deserve anyone’s love or forgiveness. I don’t want it. Your mother and Nan wanted me. They both acted like they needed me. I could pretend with them. The truth is your mother is as lost and broken as I am. Maybe for different reasons but we’re both empty inside. I was going to come clean with all this and tell Nan three months ago. I couldn’t continue this farce. I just wanted to go sit by my wife’s grave and grieve. But then Blaire called me. She needed me, but I had nothing to give. So I lied to her. I didn’t know much about the man you’d become but I knew one thing. You loved fiercely. You would do anything for your sister. I had no doubt in my mind that the moment you laid eyes on Blaire that she’d get to you. The sweet gentle spirit that was in her mother is in Blaire. Val was me. But Blaire… she is my Becca. She is so much like her. No man can be around her and not love her. I wanted someone strong and capable of taking care of her. So I sent her to you.” He wiped away the rest of his tears and stood up. I was speechless.
    “Don’t become me. Don’t let her down like I did. You only deserve what you make yourself worthy of. Do what I couldn’t. Be a man.” Abe