Touched by an Alien

I mean,
    I kind of wanted him for me, so this was not smart.
    Lorraine snorted. “No, he’s not. But, um, gee, how do I say this?”
    “You mean with me standing right here?” Martini asked, and I could tell he was working to keep his tone light. “Just tell her the truth. I don’t have the right IQ level.”
    “But we love you anyway,” Claudia said, patting his cheek.
    “So, um, who does have the right IQ level?” I was fascinated.
    “It’s not IQ so much as aptitude,” Lorraine corrected. “I mean, your Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, men like that, they’re geniuses, yes.”
    “And so dreamy,” Claudia said. She was serious. I managed to keep my jaw closed, but it took effort.
    “Yeah, but then they’re guys who just have aptitudes for science and stuff. Physicists, man, your good physicists are just so amazing.” Lorraine’s chest was heaving. I noted that Martini wasn’t looking at it. He wasn’t looking at me, either. He was looking up, and a quick glance told me it wasn’t at a threat. He was just trying to pretend he wasn’t here.
    “Don’t forget the rocket scientists. Or the engineers who work on all the advanced projects,” Claudia reminded her. “Some of your astronauts are dreamy, too.” She was big on dreamy. I’d never considered using that word to apply to any of the people they were listing, though. Martini, Gower, Reader, even Christopher, sure, dreamy to the max. But not the Nerd Army. Somewhere, somehow, I was going to have to get a text to Chuckie—he deserved a cut of this action, and if they got hot for Bill Gates, they might die over someone smarter, younger, and a whole lot better looking.
    “I mean, sex is great, don’t get me wrong,” Lorraine said as we headed toward what looked like a bank of elevators. “But without the mental connection, well …” She gave me a grin. “I’m sure you understand.”
    “Uh, yeah. Totally.” None of the A-C men I’d met seemed like morons, so, truthfully, I didn’t actually understand, and I wondered if I ever would. It was as if I’d fallen into an episode of “Beauty and the Geek.” I wondered if I’d see Ashton Kutcher anywhere around. He’d be hard to pick out based solely on looks, but maybe he had the right kind of mind, and Claudia and Lorraine would be mooning over him.
    “Well, we’re going to our floor,” Claudia told me. “You and Jeff’ll be heading to the transient section, so we’ll see you tomorrow.” She gave me a hug, Lorraine did, too, and then they got into what I hoped was an elevator. They waved as the doors closed. At me, not at Martini.
    We stood there for a few moments in silence. “They seem nice,” I said finally, avoiding what I really wanted to ask.
    “If you like being emasculated every minute of every day, yeah, they’re great.”
    “I think you’re smart.” It wasn’t worth a lot, but maybe it was worth something.
    “I think you’re the most insightful woman in the galaxy,” he said with a weak smile. “Now, let’s check on your parents and then get you settled into a room.”

CHAPTER 19
    WE FOUND MOM WITH GOWER , at a large screen that looked like something out of a futuristic movie—clear glass with lights and writing moving on it seemingly without outside assistance. I decided to ignore it, and maybe it would go away.
    “Where’s Dad?”
    “On his way. He refused to go through the gate.” Mom sounded tired and exasperated.
    “Why?”
    I heard barking and hissing. I looked around Gower to see the four agents I assumed had been sent to escort my father being dragged by four big dogs. All the dogs were bearing down on us, as only excited dogs can. And they were all headed for me.
    “He wouldn’t let us take them through the gate,” one of the agents gasped to Gower as he lost his grip on the leash he was holding.
    One dog free meant the other three would just have to work harder. Within a second the others had yanked out of the other agents’ hands.
    Dudley, our Great Dane, hit me first. He knocked me into Martini, who thankfully kept both his and my balance. Dotty, the Dalmatian, was next, jumping and howling. Duke, the black Lab, joined the dog pile, followed last but in no way least by our pit bull, Duchess. Yes, my parents had given all the dogs D names. They were adorable that way.
    “They haven’t seen you in a while,” Dad called, huffing a bit, because he was dragging a huge rolling suitcase and carting our three-cat carrier at the same