Touched by an Alien

one last shot at the righteous parental indignation.
    “They’re religious exiles from their world,” I blurted out.
    “How so?” Dad asked.
    I related what Martini had told me. “So,” I finished, “they’ve been persecuted for their religious beliefs, and since they’re born into those beliefs, really it’s persecution based on who they are.”
    “That’s too bad, but still …” Dad seemed sympathetic but unconvinced.
    “Sort of like they’re the … the Jews of space,” I tossed out in desperation. I saw Mom put her head in her hands at this.
    But it worked. Dad’s eyes widened. “You think they keep kosher?”
    “Sol!”
    “Just asking.”
    “Sol, we don’t keep kosher, for God’s sake!”
    “Is he circumcised?” This to me, with total scientific interest beaming from every pore.
    “Dad!”
    “Well, is he?”
    “Yeah, because it helps us fit in as humans,” Martini said. I looked up to see him leaning against the doorway. He was back in the standard issue Armani suit. But now I knew what was under the clothes. He looked great in them, but I wanted to rip them off. Only, not in front of my parents. “So, anything you want to ask me about my relationship with your daughter? I’ve already shared my intentions with your lovely wife.”
    “And what might those be?” Dad asked. I winced in anticipation of Martini’s answer and Dad’s reaction to it.
    “I want to marry her and have a lot of kids. Oh, and I knew that within the first hour I’d known her.”
    Dad looked pleased, and I wondered if there was something in the water around here. “Oh, then, that’s fine. You go to temple?”
    Martini shook his head. “Not like yours. But, yeah, we all practice our religion here. It doesn’t involve anything a normal Judeo-Christian religion would find appalling,” he added quickly.
    “We can get into the intricacies later,” Mom interjected. “I think Kitty’s dream is more pressing.”
    “I agree,” Martini said. “Ready to get something to eat and find Paul?”
    I leaped up. “Absolutely.”
    “Oh, I need Kitty for just a minute,” Mom said. “Why don’t you take Sol to the dining room, Jeff? Christopher’s already shown me the way, so I’ll get Kitty there.”
    Martini gave her a suspicious look, but he nodded. “Sounds fine. See you in a couple minutes,” he said to me as he and Dad left the room. I could tell he was worried. So was I, so we were in sync.
    Mom closed the door as they left, then turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. “You want to explain why you didn’t listen to me?”
    I sat back down. We weren’t going anywhere fast. “I haven’t said I’d marry him. Martini just told Dad what he told you.”
    Mom sighed. “You take any time to think about what’s going on between you and Christopher?”
    “No. Look, we can’t say two sentences to each other without snarling. I’m glad you think he’s wonderful, but, looks aside, I think he’s ninety-nine percent jerk with one percent usefulness thrown in.”
    Mom sat down next to me. “Okay, I’m not going to push this, because I was serious—that dream of yours has me freaked out. I think your subconscious picked up something we’re all missing, so I agree you need to tell the others about it so we can figure out what’s really going on. I’m sure our lives depend on it.”
    She put her arm around my shoulders. “I know you think I don’t like Jeff, but I do believe there’s more depth to him than he lets show. Am I right?”
    I nodded. “He came in to take care of me, Mom. I was so terrified … .” I had to stop and swallow. Thinking about the nightmare was still affecting me. “And, you know, I was attracted to him from the moment I saw him.”
    “Who wouldn’t be?” Mom asked with a laugh.
    “Well, apparently all your new best girlfriends forever.” I told her about Claudia and Lorraine. “It’s weird. I think the A-Cs might be better off here. There’s not a human man or woman who wouldn’t consider them the hottest things on two legs, their women want our smart men regardless of looks, and their men probably just want anyone who doesn’t make them feel like attractive morons.”
    “They have fairly strict rules about human-alien marriage,” Mom said quietly. “Christopher told me about it. It’s one of the reasons he’s upset with Jeff—the likelihood the two of you would be allowed to marry is slim.”

CHAPTER 24
    I HADN’T SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED