TOYL

mind. I’m hoping that he won’t be living at home anymore, so we can just speak with his parents.’
    ‘But he might still live there. I just wonder whether it would be sensible just to let the police get on with it, and steer clear, that’s all.’
    ‘That’s just what Will would say,’ Emma admitted.
    ‘And that’s why you didn’t tell him that we were going to do this?’
    ‘Will would have tried to convince me not to go.’
    ‘Maybe I should have tried harder,’ said Lizzy. ‘Tried to pull you back from doing something you might regret.’
    Emma glanced across at her before turning her attention back to the road. ‘Look, Lizzy, don’t feel bad. I know this seems a bit crazy, but I have to do something. I can’t just wait around, looking at my wedding box, hoping that Dan will just call or turn up and everything will be all right again. I need to take control. Even if this turns out to be nothing, then at least I’ve tried. And if that risks inviting Stephen Myers back into my life, then it’s the chance I have to take.’
    ‘Have you thought that maybe this is just what he wants?’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘For you to come looking for him. Maybe that’s exactly what he wants to happen – to get you to come to him.’
    ‘I have thought about that. But I don’t think he’s that calculating.’
    ‘Okay,’ Lizzy conceded. ‘I’ll run with it, but if things start getting out of hand – if this Stephen guy starts following you again – we’ll call the police straight away.’
    ‘Sure,’ Emma agreed.

    ***

    ‘What’s up?’ Emma said, as they ground to a halt in a sea of brake lights just after Birmingham.
    ‘Nothing, I’m okay.’ Lizzy peered out the window as spots of rain began to splatter against the windscreen. ‘Do you think it will be like this all the way to Manchester?’
    ‘What, the traffic or the rain?’
    ‘Both.’
    ‘Probably get worse.’
    ‘The traffic or the rain?’
    ‘Both,’ joked Emma, but Lizzy’s face didn’t really register the humour. ‘Lizzy,’ she said, watching her friend staring into space. ‘I can tell when you’re brooding. What’s the matter?’
    ‘It’s nothing really,’ Lizzy said, rather unconvincingly. ‘It’s just that… oh, I don’t know…’
    ‘Spit it out.’
    The car jerked forward as the traffic began to move again, albeit painfully slowly.
    ‘I’m just surprised, really,’ Lizzy said. ‘That you’ve never mentioned anything about what happened before. I mean, we’ve been friends for three years, we’ve lived together, and you never spoke about it once. Yet from what you’ve told me it was a really significant part of your life. I even remember asking you once about why you came to London, and you didn’t say anything.’
    ‘I’ve nearly mentioned it, lots of times,’ Emma said. ‘But just the idea of talking about it felt like…’
    ‘I’m sorry, Em,’ Lizzy interrupted. ‘You don’t have to talk about it. I’m being really selfish. I can’t believe I even brought it up – you don’t have to justify anything to me.’
    ‘No, I want to explain,’ Emma said. ‘To be honest, I was scared about how I might react if I spoke about it. For years I kept it buried and I just didn’t know what would happen if I started talking about it again – I was afraid of how it might affect me.’
    ‘I can understand that.’
    ‘You don’t know how many times I’ve nearly told you. There was one time when we were out shopping, last Christmas. We were walking down Oxford Street and for a moment I thought I saw him on the other side of the road, watching us. I nearly told you then.’
    ‘But it wasn’t him?’
    ‘No, it was just someone else with a camera, taking a photo of the Christmas lights. But for that moment I was really scared, Lizzy – really scared.’
    ‘That’s terrible, Em. You shouldn’t have to go through that on your own. I could have helped.’
    ‘I know. You’re helping now.’
    Thankfully the traffic eased and for half an hour they enjoyed a good run up the motorway at a constant seventy. For a time Emma lost herself listening to the radio and concentrating on the driving. But every so often the reality of what they were doing would strike again. Emma and Lizzy hadn’t spoken in twenty minutes when Lizzy finally worked up the courage to ask her question.
    ‘Emma, you said that the thing with Stephen affected your relationship with Stuart.’
    Emma nodded.
    ‘Is that why