TOYL

if it was suffering from a bout of eczema. She knocked and they waited. Part of her prayed that Stephen wouldn’t open the door; she didn’t know how she would react. All those sleepless nights he had caused; what if just seeing him sent her spiralling back into the depths of despair? But another part of her wanted to face him down. To look him in those vacant eyes and ask whether he had anything to do with this.
    She waited for a few seconds, then knocked again. As she brought her hand away from the door, she noticed that she was shaking. Flakes of green paint had stuck to her fingers.
    Still there was no answer.
    ‘Maybe they’re out,’ she said, more relieved than she was willing to admit, even to herself. Travelling back into the past like this was sending shivers down her spine, and suddenly she wanted to get back in the car and return to her normal life – except she didn’t have a normal life any more, not without Dan. She glanced down the road as an old woman crossed, pulling a shopping trolley.
    ‘No,’ Lizzy said, ‘someone’s in.’
    Emma spun around. ‘Really?’
    ‘I’ve just seen someone at the top window.’
    Emma looked up at the yellowing net curtains, but saw no one. She took a step back from the door, keeping her eyes trained on the window. ‘Did you see who it was? Was it a woman or a man?’
    ‘A woman.’
    His mother , Emma thought.
    ‘Mrs Myers?’ she shouted up at the top window. ‘Can you open the door, please?’
    Before she had even finished the sentence the door creaked open. The woman who appeared reminded Emma of one of the un-dead from a zombie movie. She was wearing a shabby nightdress and her face hung like it was being pulled down by invisible weights. Emma knew straight away it was Stephen’s mother, even though she had never seen her before. It was the eyes that gave it away – she had Stephen’s vacant yet longing eyes, and the resemblance made Emma shudder. It was like looking at an older, female version of her stalker.
    ‘Emma?’ said the woman, speaking as though she’d just woken from a deep sleep.
    Her eyes burned into Emma. She nodded, taken by surprise. She had always wondered how much Stephen had told his parents about her, but she never once imagined that after all these years his mother would actually recognise her. And that recognition had been instant.
    ‘It’s so great to see you,’ Mrs Myers said, smiling, revealing stained teeth. She moved off the doorstep and towards Emma. Before she could react, Emma found herself being smothered by a hug. ‘Stephen will be so happy.’
    Emma recoiled internally at Mrs Myers’ pungent body odour. She fought the urge to push her away and instead surrendered to her embrace.

    ***

    ‘You both take sugar?’ Mrs Myers shouted from the kitchen.
    ‘None for me, thank you,’ Lizzy replied.
    Emma didn’t answer.
    ‘Or for Emma,’ Lizzy added, noticing that her friend didn’t seem to have heard the question.
    Emma looked across at Lizzy, who was sitting in a scruffy single chair on the opposite side of the lounge. The room was unbelievably dark and dingy, the carpet sticky, and damp patches spread across the ceiling. But it was the overpowering smell that made the experience most uncomfortable. Emma couldn’t quite put her finger on what the nauseating stench reminded her of, but it was familiar.
    ‘Here you go,’ Mrs Myers said, bringing in a tray with three cups of tea and a packet of opened biscuits.
    ‘Thanks,’ Lizzy said, looking with concern at Emma who appeared to be in deep thought.
    ‘It’s such a lovely surprise to see you,’ Mrs Myers said, handing Emma a cup of tea. ‘After all this time.’
    ‘Thanks,’ Emma said.
    ‘I’ve heard so much about you, and of course I’ve seen you on the television. But to meet you in person is something I’ve wanted to happen for a long time. But you know Stephen, he likes his privacy and I didn’t like to push it with him.’
    Emma exchanged concerned glances with Lizzy.
    ‘You know,’ Mrs Myers continued, looming over Emma, ‘you’re much more beautiful in person. Stephen is such a lucky boy to have a girl like you – beautiful, and a talented actress. I told Stephen, make sure you never let her go – never let her go.’
    ‘Mrs Myers,’ Emma began, ‘you know Stephen and I never…’
    But then she stopped. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to talk about this. She had to keep in mind what she wanted from this visit. To deviate from