Tricked

Granuaile said. » Sure. « She rooted around in her bag and found a receipt that I could use for paper. I flipped it over and wrote on the back: Don’t say anything about this out loud. She will hear. There is a vampire here. Don’t worry; just thinking through the implications. Will talk about it when we leave .
    » Thanks, « I said, pushing the note to her. She read it, nodded, and tucked it into her purse.
    The vampire and her date/snack were seated two tables away to our left. She shouldn’t be here, according to Leif’s behavior in the past; he exterminated all other vampires in his territory as a matter of course. Was she someone allied with Leif in the new vampire politics, or was she an enemy? I could unbind her right now and the college boy would have to watch his date melt in front of him, but I thought perhaps I should wait, especially if she turned out to be someone on Leif’s side. I rather doubted, however, that Leif was operating with anyone. It was far more likely that she was one of many trying to take Leif’s territory for her own. And I suspected she wasn’t here by accident.
    Our food arrived, and I grinned mischievously at Granuaile as her plate was settled reverently before her. She gave it right back as mine appeared before me.
    » Okay, one thing at a time, right? « she said.
    » Right. «
    » Age before beauty. Start with that stir-fry thing right there. « She pointed to some suspicious cauliflower-looking bits mixed in with vegetables and fried brown rice.
    » All right, « I said, taking a generous forkful. Granuaile watched me put it in my mouth and chew, horrified fascination writ large upon her face.
    The cauliflower bits weren’t cauliflower. They were mushy, a bit gelatinous. But they had a nice, spicy flavor, if a bit pedestrian. Taste-wise it wasn’t terribly unique, just an unusual texture.
    Granuaile waited until I’d swallowed and then she said, » Congratulations. That was a bheja fry—goat brains. «
    » Brains? You made me eat brains like a zombie? Ugh! «
    » Braaaaaaains, « she moaned, eyes rolling up in her head.
    » I bet you zombies would like them even more with these spices. All right, take that fried thing there, dip it in the cocktail sauce, and chow down. «
    Granuaile eyed it cautiously, as if it might suddenly decide to move. It looked like a large chicken nugget, but it wasn’t. » What’s under all the batter? « she asked.
    » You find out after you eat it. Those are the rules. «
    She did as instructed, taking a tiny bite at first and quirking an eyebrow at me by way of inquiry.
    » Eat the whole thing, « I said.
    She sighed and chomped down the rest of it. » That wasn’t so bad, « she said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. » What was it? «
    » That was a Rocky Mountain oyster, also known as a Montana tendergroin. «
    » No. I just ate a bull’s balls? «
    » Only one, but yes, you just tore up a tasty testicle. Congratulations! «
    Disgust suffused her expression for a moment, but it was quickly replaced by narrowed eyes and a cold promise of grief. She gripped the tablecloth and squeezed it, pretending, perhaps, it was my newly healed neck. » You will never tell anyone about this. «
    » No, « I said. I fully intended to write it down, however. To keep her from extracting a promise not to record this in any way, I waved at my plate and said, » What shall I try next? « We worked our way through the culinary dares, and I kept half an ear open for what was going on at the vampire’s table. The brunette didn’t order anything, just ice water with lemon, and that sat on her table and sweated.
    At one point, she turned her head and gave me a good stare. Leif had always told me my blood tasted different from that of modern men. I’m sure it smelled different too. The vampire didn’t know what I was, precisely, but she knew my blood was as exotic to her as sloth steak was to me. Chances were she’d be stalking me after she disposed of her college boy—if she hadn’t stalked me in here to begin with.
    I paid for dinner, got Oberon’s yak liver to go, and said, » Let’s talk about that other thing when we get to Granny’s. « Granuaile nodded her understanding. We collected Oberon outside and I kept his camouflage on.
    I’ll need you to stay hidden while we’re at Granny’s Closet too. Keep your nose open for any more vampires and let me know .
    › Okay. Do they have regular food in there? Yak is great, but it’s kind of