Truth

should’ve had it, read it, or shared it with me. There’d probably be stiff legal ramifications if it were discovered. Of course, Tony doesn’t know we have it or read it. Those ramifications don’t need to be said, we all know they’d be stiff. Please know we love you and believe every word . I hope you’ll come down and talk to me when you’re finished.
    Love – Cort
     
    Although, only about seven yards from the living room to the kitchen, Claire’s feet suddenly weighed a ton apiece; with each step, her goal seemed farther away. She could see the binder thick with pages. At one time, before she married Tony, he showed her the article written by Meredith Banks, and another time, he had the news release of Simon’s death. Both of those experiences came rushing back. Claire wasn’t sure what the binder held. Somehow, she knew, it wasn’t good.
    Sitting her mug of coffee and muffin on the table, she exhaled and opened the binder. Inside she read: January 31, 2012, Paul Task, Attorney At Law - Preliminary brief - State of Iowa vs. Rawlings, Claire. Claire thumbed through the pages, catching a word here and a phrase there. She didn’t need to read it word for word, she’d spoken it. Hell -- she’d lived it. The account of her life with Tony, the truth , was right there in black and white. It wasn’t all inclusive, that was even stated, but it was descriptive. From her abduction, to his abuse, his punishments, his controlling nature, her near death accident , his change of behavior, their marriage, his control, his domination… and the reason she drove away from the estate. At two thirty her cup was empty and the muffin was cold, stiff, and still wrapped in a shiny tin.
    Claire stared at the open binder and wondered what to do, what to say. Other than outsiders, her attorneys and Dr. Warner, she hadn’t discussed any of this with anyone. She felt a twinge of panic , if Tony finds out that they know... Oh God! It’s a direct violation of his rules.
    Leaving the binder open she went to her bedroom to put on her bathing suit. Claire realized this was the information Courtney wanted to share-- in person. She really did know. Claire remembered the cathartic feeling she experienced when divulging all of this to her attorneys. However, with Dr. Warner it was different. Claire felt ashamed, like it was somehow her fault; she allowed all these things to happen. Dr. Warner agreed, well -- in so many words. Claire allowed Tony to dominate her.
    How could she face Courtney and look in her eyes, knowing she had allowed herself to be abused and had lied?
    Claire meant to go to the pool. However, somewhere during the process of getting ready, she collapsed on her bed and released years of suppressed tears. They didn’t stop. Unknowingly, she drifted to sleep wearing her new white bikini. Wakefulness came with the sensation of a warm soft hand rubbing her exposed back. She didn’t turn around. Instead she kept her face buried in the damp soft pillow and choked out her apology, “I’m so sorry.”
    Claire expected compassion. Instead Courtney’s voice was stern, “ You are sorry?” Heavy emphasis on you, “Claire, please turn around.” Slowly she did. Courtney looked at her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Girl – what in the hell do you have to be sorry for? It seems to me, the rest of us are the ones who should be sorry!”
    It didn’t make sense to Claire. She was the one who allowed Tony to abuse her. She was the one who lied to everyone, especially Courtney. How many times did Courtney ask Claire if everything was all right? And every time, she lied.
    The tears resumed, “I lied to you. I lied to you -- many times. I let things happen.”
    “ Honey, everyone lets thing happen around Anthony Rawlings. What were you supposed to do? Do you think if you’d stood up to him more, he’d have backed down?” Claire couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to discuss any of this. It made her head hurt. “Let me tell you something, it may not be physical -- like you endured -- but we’re all victims of your ex-husband. Do you think for a minute we would’ve let you go to jail, much less to prison, if we weren’t scared of what Tony might do?”
    Claire stared at Courtney in disbelief, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Claire asked, “What do you mean, scared?”
    “ I mean scared, like frightened. We’re putting all of our cards on the table, right?” Claire nodded; Courtney continued,