Turn up the Heat

person for saying that, I know. But what the hell do I know about babies? Nothing, that’s what I know. I don’t even like kids. You know that. And now I’m having one?”
    Unfortunately, it was true that Adrianna didn’t really like children. She certainly had no use for my niece, Lucy, and my nephew, Walker. Their noise, their messiness, and their crying irritated her, and she totally failed to see the cuteness I saw during Lucy’s and Walker’s moments of being adorable. I guess I’d assumed that she’d feel differently about her own child. Or child-to-be. When she’d discovered that she was pregnant, she’d been anything but enthusiastic. Owen’s unfaltering exhilaration at the prospect of becoming a father, however, had overshadowed Adrianna’s doubts, at least from my perspective. In fact, Owen had acted so wildly overjoyed that I now made a mental note to see whether his behavior fit the DSM’s definition of a manic episode. Still, I had no excuse for failing to pick up on how freaked Adrianna was.
    “You must be so scared right now, huh?” I said gently.
    She nodded.
    “That’s okay. It’s okay to be scared and question how you feel about having a baby. That doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t mean you’re going to be a bad mother.”
    “Mother,” she said. “I’m going to be someone’s mother. That’s just unimaginable to me. Look at my mother! Do you think I learned anything from her?” She shook her head and managed a laugh. “Definitely not.” Ade grew up with a single mom who had tried to be her daughter’s best friend rather than a real parent or even a parental figure. Her father was out of the picture.
    “You can learn, Adrianna. You don’t have to know everything about how to be a parent the second the baby is born. It’ll take time, and you’ll learn as you go along.” I wished my sister, Heather, were around, but she and her husband, Ben, and their two kids were doing the whole nauseating Disney World vacation this week. Somehow my poor parents had been conned into going along. As much as my sister drove me crazy most of the time, she was an excellent, devoted mother who’d have words of wisdom for Ade. I did have some day care experience under my belt, but I had no children, and Ade, the mother-to-be, needed help from another mother. “Why don’t you call Heather when she gets back from her trip? I know she’d love to talk to you. And as moms go, she’s pretty great.”
    “See? ‘As moms go.’ How horrible is that? What that says is that most moms stink. And that’s going to be me. A stinky mom!”
    Oh, good Lord, she’d gotten hysterical again. “Have you read any books or anything about babies?”
    “No,” she whimpered. “I'm afraid they’ll just make me feel even more incompetent. I don’t even know how to change a diaper! And look what happened to Leandra!”
    “I know that’s terrible, but what does her death have to do with your having a baby?’
    “Chloe! It just proves again what a sick world this is! How am I going to keep some tiny baby alive with the millions of dangers out there? Tell me that!”
    “Owen is going to be there to help you,” I reminded her. “This is something you guys will learn together.”
    “Yes, but I’m supposed to be the mom!”
    “You will be the mom.” I smiled. “And you’ll do a great job. You and Owen. I know he spent the first few weeks acting like a caveman announcing, ‘I am man! I make baby!’ but you know what a great guy he is. You can talk to him, Ade.”
    My distraught friend fell apart again. “We’re not even married! I mean, why should I care these days, right? But what if someone calls our baby a bastard? How awful would that be? You know, ‘the bastard child across the street’!”
    “Ade! No one is going to call your child a bastard! Sweetie, if it’s that important to you to get married before the baby is born, Owen won’t need much convincing. He was going to propose before he knew you were pregnant, so it’s not like he feels trapped into a relationship with you. He adores you.”
    “I know he does. And I’m crazy about him, too. I’m just so overwhelmed right now, and I feel sick and disgusting all the time, and everything is mixed up and not what it’s supposed to be. And I’m tired. Chloe, I’m so tired all the time.” I made Adrianna look at me. “Slow down, okay? You don’t have to figure this all out right now. Let me help you pack some more.