Vegan with a Vengeance

brunch. That is one of the only times I feel resentment toward my omnivore associates: when I am sitting in a diner as they enjoy waffles and omelets and I have to make do with a bowl of oatmeal. But you can take the matter into your own hands and start your own brunch café—it’s more fun and more social than having a hung-over waiter spill coffee on you at a $13.00 prix fixe.
    First, you need to decide on a space. When I lived in a loft this was easy—we had a huge open space available to us and we were able to pack the place with as many as fifty people on any given Sunday. But if you have a smaller space to work with, clear everything out of the biggest room, throw some pillows on the floor, or get a huge communal table. I’ve hosted cafés at bookstores and even in a church basement—you don’t even need a stove if you have a toaster oven and a hot plate, and invest in a few Sterno-heated portable serving trays.
    For the food, the easiest thing to do is prepare dishes that are easy to cook in large quantities and keep warm. Here is my typical menu:
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    Breakfast Burritos
    Cook a huge batch of scrambled tofu. Keep it warm on the stovetop over very low heat, stirring whenever you get a chance. Prepare a lot of guacamole and fresh salsa. Shred a few blocks of soy cheese beforehand (totally optional, the burritos are just as good without it). Buy flour tortillas and roll the tofu and cheese into a burrito, with a dollop of guac and salsa on top.
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    Herb-Roasted Potatoes (page 25)
    These keep well all day, either in a 200°F oven or in a serving tray. Serve with the breakfast burritos.
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    Tempeh Bacon (page 23)
    Keep warm in a serving tray or in a 200°F oven.

    Waffles
    Make all the waffles the night before and refrigerate. You’ll just need to reheat them in the toaster the next day; sometimes they taste even better than fresh waffles because they get crispier when they are toasted. Serve with sliced strawberries and bananas and maple syrup.
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    Tofu, Potatoes, and Tempeh
    Make another dish out of the scrambled tofu with roasted potatoes and tempeh, serve with a tortilla or toast.
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    Have a huge pot of coffee freshly brewed at all times. You can employ a Thermos for the coffee and set up a coffee-serving station with the sugar and soy creamer so guests can fix their own.
    When I used to throw brunch cafés, we’d usually charge five dollars a person, which always covered costs and even netted a couple of extra dollars to invest in the next café. The point obviously isn’t to make money, but to have a good time. We sometimes got a DJ to spin hip-hop, punk, and ’80s music, so it was really more of a party during the day. I definitely suggest playing some music, whatever you like, and if you have some board games and cards, they’ll make things even more (nerdy) fun.

Tempeh and White Bean Sausage Patties
    MAKES 10 PATTIES
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    I love the combination of white beans and tempeh. The beans have a naturally smoky flavor, and the tempeh and herbs give these patties the savory taste I crave upon rolling out of bed on a Sunday morning or (let’s be honest) a fternoon. They have a softer texture than store-bought vegetarian sausage patties, but a much better flavor. You can prepare the mix up to two days in advance so that all you have to do the day of serving is form the patties and cook.
    1 pound tempeh, crumbled into bite-size pieces
    4 teaspoons Bragg Liquid Aminos or tamari (or soy sauce for that matter)
    1 cup cooked white beans
    3 tablespoons olive oil
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    1 teaspoon fennel seed, crushed
    1 heaping tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
    1 heaping teaspoon chopped fresh sage, (about 5 leaves)
    Pinch of ground cayenne pepper
    Pinch of ground nutmeg
    1 tablespoon tomato paste
    Â¼ cup plain bread crumbs
    Dash of salt
    A few dashes fresh black pepper
    Place the tempeh into a saucepan and just barely cover with water (it’s okay, even preferable, if some of the tempeh is peeking out of the water). Add 1 teaspoon of Bragg, cover and bring to a boil. Simmer for about 15 minutes, or until most of the water is absorbed. Drain any remaining water and transfer the tempeh to a large bowl. Add the white beans, give a quick stir, and set aside. This will heat the beans just a bit for easier mashing and cool the tempeh down just a bit for easier handling.
    Give the saucepan a quick rinse and dry. Sauté the garlic and fennel seed