Villette

often wished she would mind herself and be tranquil; but no – herself was forgotten in him: he could not be sufficiently well waited on, nor carefully enough looked after; he was more than the Grand Turk in her estimation. She would gradually assemble the various plates before him, and, when one would suppose all he could possibly desire was within his reach, she would find out something else: –
    »Ma'am,« she would whisper to Mrs. Bretton, – »perhaps your son would like a little cake – sweet cake, you know – there is some in there« (pointing to the side-board cupboard). Mrs. Bretton, as a rule, disapproved of sweet cake at tea, but still the request was urged, – »One little piece – only for him – as he goes to school: girls – such as me and Miss Snowe – don't need treats, but
he
would like it.«
    Graham did like it very well, and almost always got it. To do him justice, he would have shared his prize with her to whom he owed it; but that was never allowed: to insist, was to ruffle her for the evening. To stand by his knee, and monopolize his talk and notice, was the reward she wanted – not a share of the cake.
    With curious readiness did she adapt herself to such themes as interested him. One would have thought the child had no mind or life of her own, but must necessarily live, move, and have her being in another: now that her father was taken from her, she nestled to Graham, and seemed to feel by his feelings: to exist in his existence. She learned the names of all his school-fellows in a trice; she got by heart their characters as given from his lips: a single description of an individual seemed to suffice. She never forgot, or confused identities: she would talk with him the whole evening about people she had never seen, and appear completely to realize their aspect, manners, and dispositions. Some she learned to mimic: an under-master, who was an aversion of young Bretton's, had, it seems, some peculiarities, which she caught up in a moment from Graham's representation, and rehearsed for his amusement; this, however, Mrs. Bretton disapproved and forbade.
    The pair seldom quarrelled; yet once a rupture occurred, in which her feelings received a severe shock.
    One day Graham, on the occasion of his birthday, had some friends – lads of his own age – to dine with him. Paulina took much interest in the coming of these friends; she had frequently heard of them; they were amongst those of whom Graham oftenest spoke. After dinner, the young gentlemen were left by themselves in the dining-room, where they soon became very merry and made a good deal of noise. Chancing to pass through the hall, I found Paulina sitting alone on the lowest step of the staircase, her eyes fixed on the glossy panels of the dining-room door, where the reflection of the hall-lamp was shining; her little brow knit in anxious meditation.
    »What are you thinking about, Polly?«
    »Nothing particular; only I wish that door was clear glass – that I might see through it. The boys seem very cheerful, and I want to go to them: I want to be with Graham, and watch his friends.«
    »What hinders you from going?«
    »I feel afraid: but may I try, do you think? May I knock at the door, and ask to be let in?«
    I thought perhaps they might not object to have her as a playmate, and therefore encouraged the attempt.
    She knocked – too faintly at first to be heard, but on a second essay the door unclosed; Graham's head appeared; he looked in high spirits but impatient.
    »What do you want, you little monkey?«
    »To come to you.«
    »Do you indeed? As if I would be troubled with you! Away to mama and Mistress Snowe, and tell them to put you to bed.« The auburn head and bright flushed face vanished, – the door shut peremptorily. She was stunned.
    »Why does he speak so? He never spoke so before,« she said in consternation. »What have I done?«
    »Nothing, Polly; but Graham is busy with his school-friends.«
    »And he likes them better than me! He turns me away now they are here!«
    I had some thoughts of consoling her, and of improving the occasion by inculcating some of those maxims of philosophy whereof I had ever a tolerable stock ready for application. She stopped me, however, by putting her fingers in her ears at the first words I uttered, and then lying down on the mat with her face against the flags; nor could either Warren or the cook root her from that position: she was allowed to lie, therefore, till she chose to