Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

into a steady rhythm of tonguing his balls while jerking his cock. It was a snug fit but I’d managed to get both of his balls in my mouth and was stimulating them with my tongue. I loved the salty flavor and his manly musk scent.
    I was so into working his hard cock and balls I almost didn’t notice when he pulled off me, until he started moaning louder, “Oh fuck, keep sucking my nuts while you fist-fuck my cock.” His words increased my need to make him come. I started sucking on his balls harder and turning my wrist a little when I reached the head of his cock, making my thumb caress the sensitive skin underneath. I knew he liked that when, on the second upstroke, he shouted, “Sweet Jesus, I’m coming,” before I felt his body tense as his cock erupted above me. I felt the first strand of his come land on my chest and stomach, followed by another jet that landed on my upper chest. The rest of his man ranch dribbled out to pool in the hollow of my neck. I continued pumping his cock until he grabbed my arm and made me stop. I knew he was most likely too sensitive but I loved the feeling of his hard cock in my hand.
    I let his tasty balls slip out of my mouth and forced myself to let go of his cock. As soon as I removed my hand, his warm mouth enveloped my prick. I didn’t even know how close I was to orgasm until his moist tongue started teasing the tip of my cock, pressing against the slit. I barely had time to whimper, “I’m coming,” before I released my load in his mouth. He swallowed every drop and made sure I was spiffy clean before letting my spent cock slip free.
    He turned around and flopped on the bed so we were on our backs next to each other. I dragged my hands up my stomach and felt the come that had landed there. Being overly relaxed, commonly known as lazy, I didn’t want to get up but I didn’t want it to start dripping either, so I did the only logical thing: I rubbed it into my skin. The large amount of come on my neck had already started running down both sides. I’ve read a few articles that talk about how healthy come is for hair and skin; now was my chance to try it for myself. I just had to remember to shower before Zack drove me back to my car.
    Rubbing the come against my skin left my hands sticky so I tried to covertly wipe them off on the corner of Zack’s bed sheet. If he noticed what I was doing, he didn’t say. We both lay there. I was just staring at the ceiling, feeling satisfied. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed there before Zack broke the silence. “There were ten thousand condoms in that box." He sounded so relaxed and casual, like everyone had ten thousand condoms and gallon-sized containers of lube. I was so sated that it took me a minute to process what he’d said.
    Turning my head to look at him, I asked, “Why do you need so many condoms? I know I’m not an expert, but ten thousand seems excessive.” Or was I just inadequate with my box of only six? I guess it’d been awhile since I last had sex, but surely not that much had changed in eight months, right? I think I would have heard about any big changes in sexual practices, even if I wasn’t practicing too often.
    “Well I might’ve been a little presumptuous and thought I’d ordered one hundred of them. Then I received a box of ten thousand fuck wrappers. I’m still not sure how I fucked up the order.” He paused to grab a condom off the nightstand and tossed it on my chest. “And I can only use them with you,” he winked. I grabbed the condom off my chest and actually looked at it for the first time. The wrapper had a longsword going diagonally across the condom. The handle was in the bottom right corner with the tip of the blade ending in the top left corner. There was a semi-translucent black condom being unrolled down the sword. It stopped a little below the tip. “ EVEN A BADASS WARRIOR NEEDS TO SHEATH HIS LONGSWORD ” was written in tiny block print across the middle of the wrapper.
    At first, I thought it was weird ordering so many custom condoms, but then I realized what a sweet gesture it was. I mean, that takes a lot of thought and planning. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. I wasn’t sure what to say. ‘Thank you, you’re very sweet’ seemed lame. I wanted to say something sweet and heartfelt to convey how much his unexpected gesture meant to me. “Wow, that must have cost a small fortune.” Mission: Be Romantic was an EPIC FAIL! I might as well have