Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

inside my mouth. After I swallowed the last of the fry, I opened my eyes. Zack was grinning at me. I tried to smile back without parting my lips. It felt awkward, so I imagine I looked sick or something. If he said anything I’d say it was because he made my stomach flutter.
    “You have some mayo on your lips,” he said, reaching out and brushing the corner of my mouth with his thumb. I almost gasped but managed to keep my lips closed. I turned my head and grabbed my napkin and quickly wiped at my face before downing my full glass of water. It didn’t help the memory and the taste still lingered. I’d likely never forget this; my therapist would probably make me relive it for at least three sessions, the sadistic bitch.
    “Thanks,” I mumbled, trying not to look queasy as I turned back to him. “Want some of my shake?” I asked, trying to be polite even though I was still trying to get over the mayo-assault on my taste buds. As first dates went, it could be worse. At least I’m pretty sure this was a date. At his nod, I passed him my almost empty milkshake. I almost had a spontaneous orgasm when he wrapped his full lips around the straw and started sucking. He licked his bottom lip after releasing the straw. I was suddenly feeling jealous of that straw.
    He passed my drink back and grabbed another fry, dunking it in his fat sauce. “Want another fry?” he asked smoothly. I knew I had two choices here: accept the fry, and then have him try and shove food in my mouth every time we ate together, or say no thanks and explain myself. Of course there was only one real option. I had to tell him to keep his fingers away from my face or I’d always worry he might try to touch my lips again.
    “No fry for me, thanks. I hate mayonnaise, and I freak out a bit having hands near my mouth and nose.” I tried to sound casual even as the memory of his thumb caressing my lip made me itch to go scrub my face clean.
    “Oh shit, I’m sorry. It didn’t cross my mind that you might not like mayo." He sounded so apologetic I almost thought about lying and saying, “I love mayonnaise and hands touching my mouth.”
    “Guess I’ll have to remember to keep my hands away from your face.”
    “Well I have no problems with your hands anywhere else, like in my hair,” I winked at him, hoping to revamp the mood. “And you can still feed me; just don’t use your fingers.”
    “Oh yeah, you like having a fist pulling your hair?” I could hear the excitement in his voice at the idea.
    “You’ll have to wait and see,” I said nonchalantly, replaying his words from earlier back to him.
    “Looks like we’re done here, so want to come over to my place and play a game?” As creepy as that offer could have sounded, his tone was seductive and not at all like the psychotic voice from the movie Saw . I watched it in the theater back when I was in high school, and I screamed like a drowning duck. There were little girls there who didn’t scream as much as I did. Needless to say, I didn’t watch the sequels.
    “We just got done playing a game. Why would you want to play another?” I asked stupidly. He was inviting me to his place. Why the fuck did I care what his reason was? I should’ve just said, “Yes, please I’d love to.”
    “Well I was thinking of playing a more active game, something to get our blood pumping. Maybe Strip Twister or Nude Wii Tennis, or we could just watch a movie if you prefer.”
    “Don’t you need at least three people to play Twister? You know, someone to spin and call out colors while the rest act like uncoordinated monkeys.” I could have slapped myself right then for again being dense. The correct response was, ‘Let’s play Naked Anything for hours, please.’ “Yeah, another game or movie would be fun. We should do that.” Could my response have seemed any more robotic?
    Zack paid and we headed out to his car. The ride to his place was spent with Zack talking about his car, or maybe cars in general. I couldn’t really follow along but I enjoyed listening to his voice, even if he might as well have been speaking German for all I understood. Before long we were pulling up to his building and he was leading me through a nice but plain lobby into the elevator. Disappointingly, nothing happened in the elevator. Probably for the best since there was an older couple in the metal box with us and they probably wouldn’t know what to make of my attempt at flirting. They’d freak out