Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

with a spitfire personality.
    Rick had had trouble not bursting out into laughter when this beautiful looking woman laid into that asshole, Ronald. Then he just sauntered up to the bar, like metaphorically castrating assholes was an everyday experience. Well, maybe it was for this guy. All Rick knew was that, as soon as he saw that fine ass, he knew he’d have to find out if this sexy stranger was just as spunky between the sheets.
    Rick patiently observed as the man sat down and pulled a mirror and some makeup out of a tiny red purse. Rick knew it was Sexy’s first time at Sal’s just by the way he looked around when he first stumbled in after the Ronald incident. Rick figured it would be best to give him time to settle in before he made his move. He had been coming to Sal’s bar for a few years now, ever since a coworker brought him here after work, and he knew it could take some getting used to. Sal’s got a lot of new patrons every night. It had a reputation for being a shady dive bar where one could find almost anything they were looking for and even a few things they weren’t. So, each night, people would show up looking to score something, only to find out that what they heard about Sal’s was wrong, then leave disappointed, never to venture down to Sal’s again. Or, like Rick, they loved the laid-back atmosphere and enjoyed relaxing after work with reasonably priced drinks and cheap fried food.
    In the years that he had been coming here, he never once saw anyone remotely as attractive as the pretty thing sitting in the back booth making faces at his compact mirror. He was pinching his plump lips together and making what Rick could only describe as fish faces. He was probably trying to make sure his lipstick was still perfect and not needing a touch up. Rick almost missed it, he wasn’t the best lip reader, but he was pretty sure those lips mouthed, “I’d fuck me,” and Rick couldn’t agree more with that statement. His hard cock pressing against the seam of his jeans was a constant reminder of just how much he wanted to bury himself in that ass.
    After Sexy finished talking into the mirror, he focused on his eye shadow and alternately wiggled both brows while heavily concentrating on his reflection. When he seemed reassured that his face was still gorgeous, he set the mirror upright on the table. Looking down into it, he adjusted his bra, holding both hands under his fake breasts and fiddling with each of them. Someone really should let him know his chest already looked fine. Once satisfied that they weren’t uneven or lumpy, he closed the mirror and put everything back into his purse.
    Rick was wondering how much time he should wait before introducing himself. His cock was pretty insistent that he’d waited more than long enough. Another guy approached the table first, but Rick didn’t mind. Competition would make the reward that much sweeter. And he couldn’t really be surprised that he wasn’t the only one to notice someone that hot walk in here. It was pretty rare for a woman to come in here alone, and even more uncommon for it to be one looking that sexy. So, Rick sat back, sipped his drink, and waited patiently to see how this would play out.

    ****

    Ashley had finished putting away his beauty kit after confirming he still looked flawless. He was about to enjoy his drink when Redneck Joe walked up in his blue plaid lumber jacket, tooth pick dangling between his lips, and, by way of greeting, drawled, “Your tits looked bigger from a distance.” RJ stopped to scratch his scalp under his plain trucker hat, “But guess you’ll still do.”
    Of course his tits looked smaller when looking down his shirt. The makeup-illusion only worked when looking mostly straight at his chest. Ashley tried to push his chest out but there was only so much boobage he could get wearing a B-cup bra. And, he was proud of his little boobs; big ones just got in the way and encouraged fondling. “Um thanks, but I’ll have to pass on whatever it was I’d still do for,” Ashley said, in his most vapid voice. Ashley wanted to simply tell him to “fuck off,” but he was pleased this hillbilly thought he was a biological woman, so he let it slide.
    “I’m offerin’ ya a night ya’ll never forget, where I fuck ya like you ain’t never been fucked before.” Redneck Joe said, looking like he was ready to spit on the floor, or maybe his face always looked like that.
    “As amazing as a night on the air