Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

get me into more trouble than I was already in? I didn’t think it would, but who knows. Avoid problems until they go away, that’s a good motto. The cop just stood there looking smug with his short, but artfully messy hair and his big ‘I’m hot shit’ aviator, mirror glasses. Okay, truthfully, he was drop-down, flop around, piss the floor from the seizure he induced, sexy. From the way he stood there looking all confident, and maybe even a little pissed off, I could tell he knew it too.
    Lowering his sunglasses, he asked, “Remember me?”
    “You do have one of those faces that look familiar.” I brought my hand up to my chin and pretended to think about it. “Are you the guy from the grocery store? Did I run into you with my cart?” I asked innocently. “I sure am sorry about that and promise it won’t happen again.” I made a ‘cross my heart’ gesture. “I’ve already signed up for cart pushing education classes and everything.” Giving him my sweetest smile, I said, “Thanks for stopping by, ta-ta.” I waved and started shutting the door.
    He slammed his hand against the door, preventing me from closing it, he took a step forward so he was inside the doorway. “Try again.” He was starting to sound irritated.
    I tried using more force to close the door, but he blocked it with his boot. His big, solid boot. Big hands, big feet, one big sexy fucking package. If I had not been trying to keep him out, I’d probably take a play from Leia’s book and start drooling all over myself.
    “Stop trying to close the door.” He growled at me. It was a deep, throaty, purely animalistic sound. As much as it intimidated me, it turned me on even more.
    “You told me to try again, so I did.” I let go of the door and crossed my arms over my chest defiantly. He might be a big, strong, sex god, but I was stubborn, and this was my house.
    “I meant guess again, but you know what? Forget it.” He stepped fully into the entryway and shut the door behind him. “You’d just make up another story, so I’ll tell you who I am. I’m the cop you skipped out on, leaving me coughing in your dust like an idiot. I missed my quota for giving traffic violations because of you.” His voice got lower with each word, and he was showing a mouthful of teeth, but he wasn’t smiling. Well, maybe it could be a smile. In the way a hyena smiles at prey before devouring it.
    “Oh, there’s obviously been a mistake. I let my neighbor borrow my car earlier; he’s a good person, just a bit irresponsible sometimes. I’ll talk to him about it and make sure he sends you a letter of apology. You may leave now, knowing everything has been resolved.”
    “It was you. I’d know your mouth anywhere.” He stepped toward me, forcing me to scoot back until I was touching the wall.
    “Fine, it was me, but you’re exaggerating. I was barely going over the suggested speed.” I said sweetly. I wished I had big puppy dog eyes I could flash to always get my way.
    “It’s not a suggested speed, it’s a limit, and seventy-seven in a fifty-five is unacceptable.” He pulled his sunglasses off, putting them in his pocket.
    “I thought you’d pulled me over for a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, which I won. I knew you’d pick paper, it was such an obvious choice.”
    “I never said paper. I started to tell you why I’d pulled you over, but you cut me off and started screaming something about scissors. Then you peeled out back onto the street, where you drove off like a maniac.” He shook his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’ve been a cop for six years.”
    “I heard you say paper.” I stuck with my story. “And I’ve been hearing perfectly for twenty-three years, so I have more experience with this situation than you.”
    “I never said that.” Did he always sound this angry with innocent bystanders? Why are cops always so angry whenever they talk to me? I made a mental note to write to the station and suggest all officers be forced to get relaxing, therapeutic massages at least weekly.
    “Guess we had a failure to communicate.” I shrugged, “Either way,” I squinted at his name badge. “Officer Hendricks, I had places to be and couldn’t just wait there; you understand, right?” I patted him on the chest in a goodbye gesture.
    “I understand you owe me.” He pressed closer, his leg slipping between mine.
    “You can’t be in here without a warrant.” I said weakly. His hands went to the wall