Where Nerves End

instead of him. “It sounds ridiculous, but sometimes when it hurts really bad, Ill lean against a corner, or some molding. Anything sharp, basically. As hard as Ican.”
“Which makes it hurt more, right?”
I nodded and didnt look up. “Yeah. It hurts like hell. But when I stop—”
“Its a relief when that pain stops, even if the original pain is still there.”
Finally, I met his eyes. “Yeah. Exactly.”
“And of course the original pain is diminished because of the endorphins released.”
“I guess,” I said. “All I know is, there are some nights its either pills or the wall. Or both.”
He set my chart down. “Well, thats why youre here. The plan is to get you off the pills. And the wall.”
“Most people would tell you Im off the wall to begin with.”
Michael laughed. “Not much I can do about that part, Im afraid.” He walked past me to the tiny chest of drawers behind the table on which I sat.
“Before we get started,” I said, “you said last time it would take several visits to treat this. Is that…still pretty realistic?”
“I wish I could tell you this was an overnight solution,” he said. “But this is an injury thats had a long time to set in. Fixing it will take some time.”
“Its not the time thats the issue.” I swallowed, wondering if this was what it felt like to literally swallow my pride. “Its the money.”
“Well, we might be able to work something out,” he said. “Like I said before, since insurance doesnt cover acupuncture most of the time, I run into this a lot. We can work with it.”
I laughed bitterly. “Yeah, well, Im not sure how much you can work around it when its a matter of food or acupuncture.”
Michael stepped into my peripheral vision, and when I looked up at him,his eyebrows were up. “Youre not foregoing food for this, are you?”
“Not this time,” I said. “But theres only so much shit I can pawn to pay for it.”
“Hmm.” He chewed his lower lip, absently tugging the wrapper on one of the needles in his hand. “That certainly explains the source of a lot of your stress.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.” I sighed. “The thing that sucks? I almost had everything under control. I was still struggling, but had it almost to the point I could consistently make ends meet. Then, like I said the other day, I lost my business partner and my boyfriend within a few months of each other, which left me with the business and the whole mortgage, and…” I made a frustrated gesture. “Now Im basically screwed.” I paused. “And for some reason Im telling you my life story. I swear Im not trying to get sympathy, just—”
“Explaining where youre coming from,” he said with a nod. “I understand. And I know the feeling, believe me. The cost of living around here is obscene.”
“To say the least.”
“Im starting to wonder if everyones natural state in this area is „barely getting by.”
“No kidding.”
“Honestly, Id move out of Tucker Springs if I could,” he said. “Love it here, but its just too damned expensive.”
“So why stay?”
“My kid.” He thumbed the edge of the file folder in his hands. “His mother and I have joint custody, and it would…complicate things.” He paused, his eyes losing focus. “If I did end up leaving, Id have to give her full custody, so…” Another pause. Then he shook himself back to life. “Anyway. Im trying to stick it out. See if the economy gets better, try to bring in more patients. You know how it is.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Of course, I have this place too.” He gestured around the room. “Overhead and all of that.”
I groaned. “God, yes.”
“Bonus?” He laughed humorlessly. “I had to switch my apartment to month-to-month, which is more expensive of course, because I just dont know if Ill still be able to afford it in three, six, twelve months.”
“Ouch,” I said. “Just be glad youre not stuck with a damned mortgage.”
“I am,” he said. “Every day, believe me, I am.” His eyes took on a distant expression. “But I guess we all have our crosses to bear.”
“Yeah,” I said, wondering what else he had weighing down on his shoulders, “I guess we do.”
Our eyes met.
Then Michael cleared his throat and set the file folder on the seat beside the table. “Anyway. Shirt and shoes off, and go ahead and lie back.”
“No car battery this time?”
He laughed. “Not yet. Im just going to have you relax for a while, and then Ill have you turn facedown so I can do