Whiskey Rebellion (Romantic Mystery/Comedy) Book 1 (Addison Holmes Mysteries)

me and I forgot to breathe, but probably part of that had to do with the fact that my nose was clogged with snot. Amid the darkness of his hair and skin was the palest, most beautiful pair of blue eyes I’d ever seen.
    Heat gathered in my belly and it had nothing to do with the whiskey. I tried to see my reflection in the metal napkin holder at the center of the table, but it was distorted. My forehead looked huge, my ponytail was lopsided, my eyes were red and my nose was swollen. Or maybe it wasn’t distorted. It would probably be best if I didn’t look at myself again. I grabbed a couple of napkins from the holder and blew my nose, making a great honking sound that Mother Goose could be proud of.
    “Addison Holmes?” the man asked and flipped open his identification to reveal a shiny gold badge.
    His expression was somewhere between incredulous and pitying, but I had visions of handcuffs and satin sheets running through my head. I glanced discreetly at his hand to see if he wore a ring.
    No ring.
    He couldn’t possibly be gay. Fate wouldn’t be that cruel.
    Maybe I still had a chance.
    I realized I was clenching my fists when they started to sting again, so I relaxed and noticed they still had blood on them. Whiskey first, first aid later. Only I’d forgotten the first aid.
    The detective was obviously waiting for me to say something, but I couldn’t remember if he’d asked me anything. “I’m Addison Holmes.”
    “I’m Detective Nick Dempsey. You’re bleeding, Ms. Holmes,” he said as he took a chair and sat down at the table.
    “I fell.”
    I grabbed a couple more napkins from the holder and looked down at my hands. I didn’t have any water, so I dipped the napkins in my whiskey, thinking that at least my hands would be disinfected. I sucked in a breath as the alcohol touched the open wounds. I would have cursed a blue streak but I couldn’t catch my breath.
    Tears gathered in my eyes, but I blinked them away so I wouldn’t look like a sissy in front of the hot detective. Not that he was likely to give me the time of day anyway once he found out what I’d been doing at The Foxy Lady . Men like this guy didn’t have to frequent strip clubs to see beautiful naked women. He probably had a whole herd of beautiful naked women lined up on his doorstep.
    I wasn’t feeling so good all of a sudden, so I laid my head down on the table and decided to have a pity party. Not to mention I didn’t want to embarrass myself further by throwing up on the detective’s shoes.
    Maybe the whiskey wasn’t such a good idea.
    “I know this is a difficult time for you, Ms Holmes.” His voice was soothing, velvety smooth, and I’d bet it was hell on women when he used it in the bedroom. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions?”
    I was about to tell him he could ask me anything he wanted when Mr. Dupres opened his mouth. “I don’t know about that, Detective. Ms. Holmes is one of my best employees and I feel as her manager that you need to direct your questions to me.” Mr. Dupres patted my arm, staking his claim.
    My head snapped up hard enough to make me dizzy. “What?” I gasped in embarrassed horror. “But you just fired me.”
    I looked over at Detective Dempsey and caught a glimpse of his bemused expression before he carefully masked it. I looked at him imploringly, begging him to understand with my eyes.
    “Umm, wait, that isn’t what I meant to say. You see, Detective, I’m not really a stripper. I was just a stripper this afternoon because there’s this house I love , but I wasn’t very good at stripping, and then I got nervous because my principal was getting a lap dance and it was gross. And then Mr. Dupres fired me, and I was kind of glad because my mother would kill me if she ever found out I’d done something like this, and probably the school board wouldn’t like it much either because I teach ninth grade world history. And after I got fired I went into the parking lot to go back home and I tripped over Mr. Butler and his blood got on my toes so I threw up.”
    Detective Dempsey and Mr. Dupres were both looking at me like I was insane, so I laid my head back down on the table and closed my eyes. I have a couple of relatives who have been declared certifiably crazy, but I never thought until now that it was something that would pass on to me. I mean, it’s not really a big deal. This is the South. In the South we’re all proud of our crazy relatives. We like to put them