White Tiger

you?’
    ‘Remember the temple on Cheung Chau? The one for Pak Tai?’ he said, using his Cantonese name.
    ‘I remember that temple.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘It was really yucky. Too much incense.’
    ‘I am Pak Tai. I am Xuan Wu.’
    She didn’t say anything, she just glared at him, hands on hips.
    ‘Which Shen is in charge of the West?’ he said. ‘The White Tiger God, everybody knows that.’ ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Bai Hu.’
    Her hands fell from her hips and her eyes went wide. She flopped to sit on the grass.
    ‘She’s just realised,’ I said quietly.
    ‘I wondered when she would,’ he said just as softly. He sat next to her. I sat on the other side.
    John waved Leo and Gold away. Leo walked back to the house; Gold just disappeared.
    ‘Kwan Yin,’ she said softly.
    He nodded.
    ‘Xuan Wu.’
    He nodded again. ‘That’s me.’
    ‘You’re a snake turtle ?’ she said with disbelief. ‘My daddy’s a snake and a turtle ?’
    ‘I’m the turtle,’ he said gently. ‘I don’t know where the snake is. I’ll find it again soon.’
    Simone looked at me.
    ‘I’m just an ordinary person.’
    ‘Did you know he’s a turtle, Emma?’
    ‘Yes, I did, Simone. I’ve known for a long time.’
    ‘Did you know he was a Shen?’
    I nodded.
    She looked down, digesting this for a moment. Then she quickly glanced up at her father. ‘Mummy?’
    ‘Mummy was a normal person too. She was very beautiful, and very wonderful.’
    ‘I think I should go now,’ I said, moving to rise.
    ‘Please stay, Emma,’ Simone begged me, putting her hand on my arm. ‘Don’t go away right now.’
    ‘Okay.’ I sat next to her and held her hand. ‘I’m here.’
    Simone watched her feet for a while. Both of us waited patiently to see what would come out next.
    ‘Can you show me the turtle, Daddy?’ she said. ‘Bai Hu is always giving me tiger rides.’
    ‘I can’t change into the turtle right now.’
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘Because if I change into the turtle, I can’t change back again,’ he said, very sad. ‘I’d be stuck like that for a long time.’
    ‘Why?’
    ‘You know how I’m low in energy?’
    She nodded, her little face serious.
    ‘If I lose human form and turn into a turtle, I don’t have the energy to change back again.’
    ‘You have to stay in human form?’ She studied him carefully. ‘That must be really hard. Uncle Bai has to change back into a tiger all the time.’
    ‘Kwan Yin is helping me.’
    ‘So that’s why we go to Paris,’ she said, wide-eyed. ‘You are very clever, you know that?’ ‘You need to look after yourself, Daddy, so you don’t change into a turtle,’ she said. ‘If you change into aturtle then you can’t fight the demons for me. Leo will have to do it all.’
    ‘Should I, Emma?’ John glanced desperately at me; he wasn’t sure if he should tell her he was leaving. His voice was thick with emotion. ‘Help me, Emma, I don’t know what to do.’
    I wanted so much to hold him and comfort him. He needed me; his face was full of pain. I remembered what Simone had said in London. She didn’t understand, she was still too young. Soon, though. Something I wasn’t looking forward to.
    ‘I think that’s enough for now, John. The rest can wait until later.’
    He nodded and rose, taking Simone’s hand and helping her up. I rose as well.
    ‘Are you and Emma going to get married?’ Simone said. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t be mad, I’d be happy. I want you to.’
    I nearly fell to sit again. She’d seen the ring. She’d heard me call him John. She’d heard me called Lady Emma. She wasn’t stupid.
    ‘Right now I can’t even touch Emma,’ he said sadly. ‘I’m too drained. I’d hurt her.’
    ‘You’d just suck all the energy out of her,’ Simone said. Her voice became breathless as she understood. ‘Goodness, Daddy, make sure you don’t touch Emma, you could kill her.’
    ‘Don’t worry, we’re very careful,’ I said.
    ‘But that means you can’t get married, ‘cause you can’t kiss each other,’ she said with a child’s logic. ‘That’s really sad.’
    ‘I’m happy to be with your daddy and I’m happy to be with you,’ I said. ‘That’s what’s important.’
    ‘I’ve promised Emma that one day I will marry her, Simone.’ John moved slightly away from me. ‘So she’snot the nanny any more. She’s my Lady, the one who’ll marry me one day.’
    ‘Good,’ Simone said, very serious. ‘I’ll be a flower girl.’ She