Worst Fears Realized

about it?
    “Do you think about me?”
    “Yes.”
    She moved closer. “Do you think about making love to me?”
    “Yes.”
    She sat up on her knees on the sofa and ran a hand through his hair. With her other hand, she pulled loose the tie of his robe and ran her hand inside.
    Stone took her hand and put his on her shoulder, then took her into his arms and kissed her face. “Don’t,” he said. “It’s too painful.”
    “I want the pain to stop,” she said. “I want you.”
    “You know very well that I want you, too.”
    “Then I’m yours.”
    Stone took a deep breath. “No,” he said, “you’re not.”
    “I want to be yours again.”
    “I can’t let myself want that.”
    “Why not? We can have each other.”
    “No, we can’t.” Stone could not believe he was saying this.

    “I’ll come back to New York; I’ll get a divorce. I should never have married Vance.”
    “But you did.”
    “I made a stupid mistake,” she said. “Do I have to pay for it the rest of my life?”
    “We both do.”
    “I want to come back, Stone.”
    “You can’t take Vance’s son away from him; I won’t be a party to that.”
    “Then I’ll leave Peter with Vance. I can still see him.”
    “Arrington, I saw you with that baby last night; you love being his mother, and if I came between you, you’d end up hating me for it.”
    “I want you more.”
    “No, you don’t.”
    She sat up and pulled his robe open. “Make love to me,” she said. She ran her hands down his body and kissed him on the neck and shoulders. “Just this once; make love to me. Then, if you still want me to go, I will.”
    Stone took her shoulders and held her away from him. “Listen to me,” he said. “I’ve done things in my life I’m not proud of, but I’ve never been an adulterer, and I’m not going to start now—not even with you, in spite of the fact that I’ve loved you more than any woman I’ve ever known. I just can’t do it.”
    Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Stone, I love you.”
    “Arrington, some part of me willalways love you.”
    “Then why can’t we be together?”

    “We both made choices that we’re going to have to learn to live with.”
    “I was living with them until I saw you last night,” Arrington said. “Really, I was.”
    “Then you can do it again.” Stone stood up and pulled her to her feet. “You have to go home, now.” He walked her slowly toward the door, his arm around her. She was still crying. On the way to the door, Stone grabbed a handful of tissues from a box on an end table.
    At the open door, she turned and faced him. “Don’t send me away; please don’t do that.”
    “You have to go,” he said.
    “You don’t really want me to go.” She sobbed.
    He dabbed at her eyes with the tissues. “What I want doesn’t matter anymore.”
    She took the tissues and blew her nose loudly. “Kiss me goodbye?”
    He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips lightly. “Goodbye, sweet girl,” he said.
    She turned and ran for the Range Rover parked in his drive. In a moment, she had driven away.
    Stone walked back into the house and closed the door, trying hard to swallow the lump in his throat. Then he heard a car door slam outside.Oh, God, he thought, she’s come back, and I won’t be able to send her away again.
    He went and opened the front door, ready to take her in his arms. Vance Calder stood on the little porch. “Hello, Stone,” he said.
    “Hello, Vance,” Stone said weakly. “Will you come in?”

    “No,” Vance replied. “I just want to know if I have anything to worry about from you.”
    Stone shook his head. “No, Vance, you don’t.”
    Vance took a deep breath. “Thank you for that,” he said.
    “Just try to find a way to make her happy.”
    Vance nodded, squeezed Stone’s shoulder, went back to his car, and drove away.
    Stone went back inside, hoping that every Sunday morning in Connecticut was not going to be as hard as this one.

49
    STONE LOCKED UP THE HOUSE, GOT INTOhis car, and drove away. He wasn’t sure he’d done the right thing about Arrington, and it was killing him. He kept thinking about what it would be like to have her back again; then he would think about her son and his father and come back to the same place. When he had reached Pleasantville, he called Dino.
    “Hello?”
    “Hi, it’s Stone.”
    “Where are you?”
    “On the Saw Mill River Parkway. Can you meet me at P.J. Clarke’s in an hour?”
    “What’s