Z 2134

right foot on top of his left knee, quietly rocking.
    “Before your father snapped, he was a good man and an excellent Watcher, one of the best Watchers we had. I was proud to have him serve my sector. He was a thorough officer, enforcing our laws proudly. But more than anything, your father was a friend. I loved how he always spoke of his family, like a schoolboy giddy for a pigtailed girl.” Keller laughed. “His enthusiasm stayed fresh, even after many years. It was you he spoke of more than anyone, Adam. Of course Jonah went on and on about all of you, always telling me how proud he was. As much as he loved Ana, his firstborn, you were his son , and he had a special spot in his heart that was only for you.”
    Adam was doing his best to hold in his tears.
    Keller then said, “You know how much he loved you, don’t you Adam?” which sent Adam into a flood. Keller didn’t seem surprised by the tears or their heavy flow.
    “You wouldn’t want to let your dad down, would you, Adam?”
    Adam shook his head, sobbing as he repeated the word “no” over and over. He collected his breath, then spilled every bean in one sentence:
    “It was Daniel, Morgan, and Tommy,” he said. “And Starla, Melissa, and Kim too.”
    Adam gave up everyone but Jayla, which he couldn’t bear to do.
    Keller smiled. “You know your friends say you’re slow, don’t you?”
    Adam nodded, wishing Keller hadn’t said that.
    Keller waited for him to stop crying, then said, “Are you slow, Adam?”
    “No, sir. I’m not,” he shook his head. “Just a little shy, and my mind wanders sometimes. But I’m not dumb; not at all. I used to have trouble making friends, but my dad helped me through that.”
    Keller patted the top of Adam’s hand. “I don’t think you’re dumb, son. Hell, you’re already smarter than your sister and father. Know why?”
    “Why?” Adam said, trying not to fall into any more tears, though it was hard once Keller started talking about his family again, and insulting them, no less.
    Keller leaned farther forward and pressed his hand harder on Adam’s. “Because you told me the truth,” he said. “Tell me, Adam, do you want to be my friend?”
    Adam nodded nervously, unsure what Keller was trying to say. He was scary looking, but then again, so were most adults, especially at Chimney Rock. Keller was the Chief, the highest ranking of all the Watchers — so surely he was one of the good guys, Adam figured.
    Keller’s smile widened as he produced a delicate box from nowhere, setting it on the desk, lifting the lid, and filling Adam’s eyes with a small pile of gold-wrapped something or others. He smiled, then whispered, “Chocolate, Adam. Would you like one?” Keller slid the box forward across the huge desk. “I think you deserve it. Don’t you?”
    Adam’s hand inched tentatively toward the box, slightly shaking on its way. He reached inside, pulled one of the chocolates out, then looked up at Keller, half expecting the man to snatch it away.
    “Go on,” Keller said, still smiling.
    Adam unwrapped the chocolate, took a nibble from the tiny ball, then started to chew as Keller spoke.
    “You know what courage is, Adam?”
    He nodded.
    “I’m glad you think you do, but I’m going to suggest that maybe you don’t. Not your fault, of course. The same can be said for most children, though, since the schools are always teaching kids the wrong things about fear. Courage doesn’t mean you’re not scared. It means staring into the eyes of whatever terrifies you, then telling that thing to go fuck itself. Does that make sense?”
    Adam laughed, then nodded.
    “True courage, well, no one’s born with that. I’ve known leaders and soldiers, son, and not a one of them was ever what you’d call fearless, and even if they were, that sure as hell wouldn’t make them brave. If you’re fearless, well then, you’re probably reckless too, and reckless kids often end up in the Dark Quarters, and we both know you don’t want to ever wind up there, right?”
    Adam wasn’t sure if he was supposed to agree or not, but since it seemed like Keller was waiting, he swallowed his nibble of chocolate and said, “Right,” then pulled more of the chocolate into his mouth.
    “Let’s look at the men of Fire Watch, rushing into burning buildings to rescue people who need saving. Well, they’re scared to death for most every second, but they run into the fire anyway because regardless of their fear,