600 Hours of Edward

my own unsent responses. Rather than tell about them, I reach into the briefcase and hand her the printouts.
    Dr. Buckley reads quickly but also intently. At several points, I can see her brow furrow. At those junctures, I wonder what part of the correspondence she is reading, and I hope that it isn’t mine.
    “Edward, I think you’ve learned something about dating in general, but online dating in particular,” Dr. Buckley finally says.
    “What?”
    “It can be difficult to find the right person, no matter the circumstance. I’m not willing to say whether online dating is inferior or superior to dating the old-fashioned way, whatever that is, but it’s different in one important way.”
    “What’s that?”
    “You’re missing a dimension of the person that you get when the first interaction is face-to-face. What I’m talking about here is a vibe. Do you know what I mean?”
    “I think so. A vibe is hard to quantify.”
    “Yes, it is. But that innate feeling you get about someone else is important. Online dating delays that. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, in and of itself. But it happens. Do you follow me?”
    “Yes. I didn’t get a good vibe from Joy-Annette. Did you in reading her notes?”
    “No, but I don’t dislike her. I feel sorry for her.”
    “Why?”
    “She’s clearly dealing with some issues that stretch beyond dating and beyond you, Edward. There’s unhappiness there.”
    I hadn’t considered that, and now I feel bad that I’ve been harboring such hostile thoughts toward Joy-Annette. I’m not being fair.
    “What have you taken from your online dating experience, Edward?”
    I think for a few seconds before answering. “I don’t think I want to do it again. There’s too much torpidity when it goes poorly.”
    “But what about if it goes well?”
    “I don’t know. I haven’t experienced that. Are you saying that you think I should try it again?”
    Dr. Buckley shakes her head. “I’m not saying that. That’s your decision, Edward. I’m saying that you have made the decision to let people into your life—”
    “I don’t recall making that decision.”
    “Well, it wasn’t an occasion. But it happened just the same. Look at what we’re talking about.”
    “Yes, that’s true.”
    “As I was saying, you have made the decision to let people into your life. Part of that involves being disappointed by them sometimes. Part of that involves being thrilled by them sometimes. It’s up to you to decide whether the risk is worth the reward.”
    “I guess I’m thinking that it’s not.”
    “Have you ever heard the phrase ‘You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince’?”
    “Yes.”
    “Do you know what it means?”
    “Yes, but Donna Middleton said it was that I had to turn over a lot of rocks on the beach before I find a pearl.”
    “Donna Middleton is a very logical woman,” Dr. Buckley says.
    – • –
    Next, we talk about Donna Middleton and the fracas at the courthouse yesterday. There was a news brief on the second page of the Local & State section in today’s
Billings Herald-Gleaner
about it, and Dr. Buckley says that she saw it.
    “Partner and family member assault is a terrible thing,” she says. From my years in the clerk of court’s office, I know it by the initials used by people in jurisprudence—PFMA.
    “I think she’s very brave to confront him like that,” she says.
    “She is.”
    “Edward, have you spoken with your father about this?”
    “I don’t think he would be happy that I have become friends with Donna.”
    “He might not. But I think he might have some good advice.”
    “He’ll just yell at me.”
    “Perhaps you should give him more credit than that. We’ve talked many times about your father and how to interact with him. What, in this case, do you think the best approach would be?”
    “Deference.”
    “Why do you say so?”
    “I should appeal to his protective and analytical instincts. If I defer to his wisdom about a situation, he’s more likely to share it with me.” I have repeated, verbatim, what Dr. Buckley has counseled me to do on many occasions with my father. I have been less successful in actually following through with him.
    “Word for word, Edward. Word for word.”
    – • –
    We finish our session with a brief discussion about goals for the coming week. This is a fairly regular aspect of my weekly session with Dr. Buckley. I say “fairly regular” because it is sometimes superseded (I