A Beautiful Dark

gleeful.
    “Hey, boys,” Cassie trilled as she made her way back down the aisle, her cheeks pink and her eyes shining playfully as they caught mine. “You’re in my seat, Asher. Scram.” Asher glanced from me to Devin, whose expression was now turning smug. He got up slowly, nodding his head politely and allowing Cassie to pass.
    “See you on the mountain,” he promised me before walking away. Like we’d agreed to meet up there and he had something special planned.
    Devin gave me a pointed look, as though trying to remind me about his warning. I smiled back at him reassuringly, hoping he’d interpret it correctly: I would be okay.
    “Found it!” Cassie held up her iPod as she slid in next to me. “Ooh, it’s toasty here; it’s freezing everywhere else on the bus.”
    “You mean the heat’s still not on?” I asked, a chill creeping up my spine.
    “Nope,” she said brightly. “How did you get our vent to work so quickly?”
    I thought of short-circuiting the thermostat in our house and how quickly the hot air had blasted out of the bus’s air duct when I’d run my hand across it. How had I gotten it to work?
    All I could do in response was shrug.
    “So that was interesting.” She jutted her chin to where Devin and Asher had just been standing.
    “It’s weird.” I groaned, falling so that my forehead rested against the cushioned seat back in front of us. “I don’t understand either of them. One minute I think Devin really likes me, is going out of his way to talk with me, but then it’s like he changes his mind or something because he’ll keep his distance. And Asher gets this kick out of pushing my buttons, but then he flirts with every girl in school. It’s not like they’re really interested in me. It’s more like what they’re really trying to do is force me to choose between them or something.”
    Cassie’s mischievous grin widened. “Let me put this in simple terms. They want what every guy in this school has always wanted. You’re usually just too wrapped up in other things to notice. I’ve never seen you respond to any of them this way.” She paused thoughtfully. “Actually this is the first time I’ve seen you respond at all. Since Jordan, I mean.” She looked away guiltily at the mention of my first and only boyfriend.
    “I don’t think that’s it, though,” I said quietly, making sure they couldn’t hear us. “I don’t know what they want.”
    “Okay,” Cassie said, patting my knee with her mittened hand. “But what do you want?”
    I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window at the icy parking lot as the bus engine groaned to life.
    What did I want?
    That was a much harder question to answer.

Chapter 10

    I slept for most of the trip, leaning on Cassie’s shoulder as she scribbled away in her notebook. At some point, the heat was working for the entire bus, and when I woke up, it was starting to verge on uncomfortably warm.
    By the time we got to the resort, checked in, and got our room assignments, dinner was being served. The sun was already beginning to fade into dusk, and a sharp wind was picking up. The dining room had wide windows that looked out over the mountain, where tiny lights were just beginning to blink on, illuminating the trails. Nothing was more beautiful than the sun setting over the peaks and painting the slopes in shadows. I ate quickly; I hadn’t realized how ravenous I was.
    As the servers were clearing away our plates, Ian suggested night skiing—but our faculty advisers, Ms. Manning and Mr. DeNardo, the head of the English department, quickly nixed that idea. Instead they announced free time before bed, then went off to a deserted corner of the dining room to go over the schedule for the following day.
    We all congregated by the huge fireplace in the main room of the lodge, where the fire was crackling and we could order hot chocolate from the bar at the far end of the room. As a group of us settled into a long banquette, Cassie nudged me and covertly opened her fleece; a hint of silver flask flashed up at me.
    “You are insane,” I whispered. “That is, like, breaking the first rule of any class trip! Do you want to get suspended?”
    “Do you want to be boring and predictable and get straight A’s and get into Columbia without breaking a sweat?” Cassie whispered back. “Or do you want to have a memorable ski trip?” Glancing over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear, she poured a little into her hot