A Body to die for

with a spatula was Larry Black. I supposed he could pray for Alex’s health after Molly punctured his lungs a few times.
    Alex struggled to control the poor woman beneath him, screaming, “I’m fighting the good fight, you wench. You’re sure to lose, so just give up already.” Molly leaned over the tangled couple and flashed the knife blade in Alex’s eyes. He blinked, then smartly froze. Molly said, “Please get off the customer.”
    Alex got off the customer. He said, “She was carrying a whole tray of food.”
    “She was hungry,” Molly explained. “And now, she’s probably angry.”
    The woman in question was already gone, having scurried from the room as quickly as she could. All that food. And so skinny. I’ve heard that ice cream comes up as easily as it goes down. No wonder the bathrooms are right next to the restaurant. All of the other diners had left the cafe, too. I watched them squawk away like frightened geese. I turned back toward Molly.
    She was walking around Alex, keeping the knife at his throat. He said, “I know your little secret.”
    She gasped. So did Larry. Alex decided to take advantage of their distraction. With his freshly pumped mini-muscles, he grabbed Molly by the knife wrist and attempted to fling her over his head. She barely moved. Except when she leaned in with the knife.
    Larry said, “Molly, no!” He grabbed the two of them, who were already grappling with each other. The fivesome (including the knife and spatula) fell to the floor in a knot. Alex wasn’t doing very well. Molly, however, was getting in some dastardly punches. I lifted my gun and aimed it, fired. Hot lead blasted the beet juice circulation machine. Red liquid splattered all over the counter, the pink walls and the knot of people on the floor. I was spared a single drop; my sundress was unmarked. In their confusion, I took control. I rushed over to the stunned, drenched group and said, “Someone’s shooting. Out the back way— fast!” Molly and Larry didn’t even flinch. They bolted for the kitchen. I helped Alex to his feet—he shrugged me off again—and we chased after them.
    Once in the kitchen, I screamed, “Hold it!” Molly and Larry stopped in their tracks. “Arms up,” I said. They put their arms up. “Turn around.” They turned. “Now rub your bellies and pat your heads at the same time.”
    They seemed puzzled. Alex said, “You can’t go screaming out of here like banshees. The police are outside, looking for Wanda. Though I have every faith that, should they arrest you instead, Molly, they’ll be making a good collar.”
    Molly pointed at Alex. “I know her, but who the hell are you?” she asked.
    “He’s my partner.” I pointed at her hand with the gun. “You can drop the knife now. And the spatula, too.”
    Instead of dropping it on the floor, Molly slowly reached over to the kitchen counter to her right and slipped the knife into a big hunk of wood. Seven other knives with white handles poked out of it. The biggest slot was empty (I was wearing my glasses and could see an ant on the moon). I took the empty slot to be the home of the murder knife in my pocketbook. “Missing something?” I asked and pointed at the wood block.
    Larry spoke for the first time since I’d liberated the beet juice. He said, “A bread knife was stolen a few days ago.”
    I said to Molly, “And you went to Ikea today to see about replacing it.”
    She stared suspiciously at me. “How did you know?”
    “Psychic vision.”
    “Yeah, well, so what? Is it against the law to order a bread knife from Ikea?”
    No, I thought. “We’ll be leaving out the back door, and then we’re going to have a chat. You might want to grab your stash first. I’m pretty sure the cops will be looking around back here for a crazed gunman. It’d be a shame if they found something more incriminating.”
    Alex said, “Take them to your place. I’ll meet you there later.”
    “Where are you going?” I asked, annoyed. I needed him to handle both Molly and Larry.
    “Leeza needs me.”
    “She needs a doctor,” I said.
    “You can be really selfish, Wanda.” I needed this conversation now, with the cops up my ass and two hostages? Molly and Larry still had their hands up. I kept my gun level. Alex said, “If I don’t go to her, I’ll never forgive myself.”
    “If you leave me now, I’ll never forgive you.”
    He smiled and said, “Sure you will.”
    I spit fire. My eyebrows were singed. Alex