A Fractured Light (Beautiful Dark)

part about it was that he was right.
     
    All day, frustration and rage cycled through me. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Ian had said. If only I could tell him the truth about where I’d really been and why I’d left without a word. It wasn’t my fault. None of this was.
    I wanted to run away again, to hide. I pictured driving cross-country, my car kicking up dust as I crossed the flat middle of the map. In the rearview mirror, a flash of white feather. Everywhere I looked: a flash of sharp white feathers. Walking down city streets, between buildings, silhouetted against the glow of the sunset. Angels following me, a part of the skyline, for as long as I lived.
    What kind of life would that be? I knew running away was impossible. I had to face this. I just wished I knew what “this” was. And, despite what Aunt Jo had said, there was still a part of me that felt deeply that wherever Asher was, that’s where I needed to be, too.
     
    I couldn’t wait to get on the slopes that afternoon for our race against Holy Cross. I’d raced against them before. They weren’t as fierce as the Brighton girls, but I still had to do my best if I ever wanted to be captain. I crouched low at each bend in the course and leaned into the wind, imagining huge, feathery wings extending from my back. In my mind, they guided me, directing the wind to make me more aerodynamic, my path easier. I was gliding, flying. But when I closed my eyes and tried to see if they were white or black, I couldn’t.
    The sun grew low in the sky, and the dusk was rolling in, cold and crisp and blue. As I flew down the slope, an idea struck me. I focused on the sun, squinting my eyes as it sank lower, so that just a luminous arc was peeking out above the mountains. What if I wasn’t ready for it to set just yet? What if I needed more daylight to finish the race?
    My eyes stung, but I forced myself to keep staring directly at the sun, the force of my mind pushing with all its might. Come on , I thought, taking a sharp turn in the course with exact precision. Come onnn .
    And then the strangest thing happened. The sun stopped setting suddenly, and it began to float upward . I faltered slightly, then righted myself as my competitor drew up just behind my right elbow.
    “What the—” I heard her say before her voice was swallowed by the wind. The sky began to lighten, the dusk withdrawing into itself, pulling back the darkness. I swished across the finish line and slid to a stop.
    Coach clicked his stopwatch and looked up to catch my eye. He nodded. “You keep this up for our last big race next week against Southfield,” he said, “and you’ll be our next captain.”
    I fell back onto the snowy ground, breathing hard, staring up into the sky. I could feel my powers getting stronger, more controlled. I was exhausted but exhilarated at the same time. I closed my eyes and felt the sun begin to set again as the dusk settled in around me.
     
    I sat by myself again on the bus. Ellie was talking loudly about me a couple of seats away.
    “Freak,” I heard her mutter. “I bet she’s on steroids or something.”
    I sighed and leaned into the seat. The trees blurred past my window. Only a month or so ago, Ellie and I had kind of been friends. I closed my eyes again, willing the bus ride to be over.
     
    Aunt Jo had cooked a feast. She let me shower off from the race, and then the two of us set the table while we danced around to romantic comedy soundtracks. At eight, the doorbell rang, and I opened it to see Cassie and Dan standing on my doorstep. Cass was dressed up in her favorite vintage dress, the yellow one with the little flowers. One leg was cut off a pair of tights to fit over her cast. Her red hair was piled into a purposefully messy bun. The fact that Dan was wearing a jacket instead of his navy-blue hoodie meant that he had dressed up, too.
    “Yay!” Cassie said, clapping her hands. “Dinner party!”
    I hugged them both. “Come in!” I said with a flourish.
    “Hi, guys!” Aunt Jo called from the dining room. As we walked in, Cassie presented her with a bottle of red wine.
    “From my mom.” She winked. “She made Dan promise not to drink any so he can drive me home.”
    “That’s responsible,” Aunt Jo said, patting Dan on the back.
    Dan mumbled something under his breath.
    Aunt Jo brought heaping plates of food to the table while Cassie and Dan sat down. The doorbell rang again, and I got nervous, like Asher was here to