A Fractured Light (Beautiful Dark)

my arms. Aunt Jo had reminded me how unrelenting the Order was—and how very little stood in their way. They would not have let that kind of transgression occur. Even if I was causing static in the frequency of destiny—they would have known, somehow. They always knew. They were always ready. There was no fooling them.
    The morning was cold, but I shivered from fear. Had my kiss with Devin been genuine? Or, like everything else, had it only been some trick? The Order’s attempt to shake me up, keep me vulnerable?
    I tried to wipe everything clean and make my mind calm and focused. At the top of the mountain, I took a few deep breaths and stretched. I could do this. I was ready.
    Ellie was racing first, and she crouched against her opponent at the starting line. The team cheered behind her. “Come on, El! You got this!” She frowned and leaned forward. Poles back. The whistle blew, and she and her competition from Holy Cross were off, a blur of school colors against the white snow. I found myself cheering along with the team. Soon I couldn’t see them anymore, but when I heard the crowd cheer just minutes later, I knew without a doubt that Ellie had won. Her time would be hard to beat.
    My number was up. I pulled my goggles down and glided forward to the starting point.
    I was hovering on the edge.
    I am hovering on the edge.
    In the clear, cold light of day, the dreams that I’d had while unconscious came rushing back.
    The dead of winter. Snow covering the slopes like it was trying to bury us all with it. I can hear the sound of my classmates’ voices echoing off the mountains as they laugh and horse around.
    No, not horse around. Cheer. Cheer for me. As I readied at the start, I could hear them cheering my name.
    I looked down over the edge, into the chasm below.
    Just like in the dream, I was torn. I was always torn. But now I felt like I was beginning to figure out an answer.
    “Make a choice, Skye,” I said to myself. “You can’t stare off the edge of this cliff forever.”
    The whistle blew at the start, and we were off down the slope. I felt the tension of opposites rush through me, keeping me in control. I passed through patches of sunlight and then shadows cast by the trees. Light. And then dark. Control and chaos.
    I knew then as well as I ever would that Aunt Jo was right: I couldn’t have one without the other. Destroy the Rebellion and life would be governed by an impossible set of rules for eternity. Destroy the Order and no place on Earth would be safe from the never-ending cycle of destruction and renewal.
    I was the only thing keeping them in balance.
    The powers of light and dark were twining themselves together inside me, into a power that only I possessed. Me—and no one else.
    I couldn’t make a choice between chaos and control. Not because it had been made for me. But because there was no choice to make. It wasn’t one or the other. They were both inside me. They were both a part of me. I was nothing without both sides.
    Take one away and I would fall.
    I’d had the dream every night. And I never woke up to the relief that it was only a dream. Because for days, I hadn’t woken up at all.
    But I was awake now. I was out of the darkness, and suddenly my world was flooded with light.
    And as I sliced across the finish line, I knew that I had done it.
    Coach Samuelson stood in front of the crowd with his stopwatch. He nodded at me imperceptibly, but his eyes remained distant. Ellie’s time had been better than mine. She had beat me out for captain.
    But as I saw Asher break through the crowd and rush to swoop me up in his arms, I knew it didn’t matter.
    She could be captain—that was what she wanted. I had found clarity at last.
    And that was what I needed.

Chapter 25
    A fter the race, the whole gang of us went out for pizza.
    I sat with Cassie, Dan, Ian, Asher, Gideon, and Ardith—and Aunt Jo, who beamed with happiness. A few tables away, Ellie and Maggie were sitting with a few of their friends and a couple of girls from the team.
    “Be right back, guys,” I said, sliding out of the booth. I walked over to them. Ellie looked up at me nervously.
    “Hey, Skye,” Ellie said. “Look, I’m sorry—”
    “That was a great race.” I cut her off. “You were amazing. You definitely deserve captain more than I do.”
    “I do?” She looked perplexed. “But I thought you wanted it.”
    “I did,” I said. “I do. But . . . I can’t just waltz back in here and expect