A Malazan Book of the Fallen Collection 3

will be, once
we've circled the city and Quick's satisfied it's as dead as it
looks—'
    'Oh,' the wizard cut in, 'it's dead all right. Still, we're
circling the ruin.' He pointed a finger at Apsalar. 'As for
you, woman, you're not travelling alone, are you? Where
are they hiding? And what are they? Familiars?'
    'You could call them that,' she replied.
    'Where are they hiding?' Quick Ben demanded again.
    'Not sure. Close by, I suspect. They're ... shy.' And she
added nothing more, for now, satisfied as she was by the
wizard's answering scowl.
    'Where,' Kalam asked, 'are you going, Apsalar?'
    Her brows rose. 'Why, with you, of course.'
    She could see that this did not please them much, yet
they voiced no further objections. As far as she was concerned,
this was a perfect conclusion to this part of her
journey. For it coincided with her most pressing task – the
final target for assassination. The only one that could not
be ignored.
    She'd always known Cotillion for a most subtle bastard.
     
    'All right, then,' Sergeant Hellian said, 'which one of you
wants to be my new corporal?'
    Touchy and Brethless exchanged glances.
    'What?' Touchy asked. 'Us? But you got Balgrid and
Tavos Pond, now. Or even—'
    'It's my new squad and I decide these things.' She
squinted over at the other soldiers. 'Balgrid's a mage. So's
Tavos Pond.' She scowled at the two men. 'I don't like
mages, they're always disappearing, right when you want to
ask them something.' Her gaze slid across to the last two
soldiers. 'Maybe's a sapper and enough said about that, and
Lutes is our healer. That leaves ...' Hellian returned her
attention to the twins, 'you two.'
    'Fine,' said Touchy. 'I'll be corporal.'
    'Hold on,' Brethless said. 'I want to be corporal! I ain't
taking no orders from him, Sergeant. Not a chance. I got
the brains, you know—'
    Touchy snorted. 'Then, since you didn't know what to do
with them, you threw them away.'
    'You're a big fat liar, Touchy—'
    'Quiet!' Hellian reached for her sword. But then remembered
and drew a knife instead. 'Another word either of you
and I'll cut myself.'
    The squad stared at her.
    'I'm a woman, see, and with women, it's how we deal
with men. You're all men. Give me trouble and I'll stick
this knife in my arm. Or leg. Or maybe I'll slice a nipple off.
And you bastards will have to live with that. For the rest of
your days, you'll have to live with the fact that you were
being such assholes that Hellian went and disfigured
herself.'
    No-one spoke.
    Smiling, Hellian resheathed the knife. 'Good. Now,
Touchy and Brethless, I've decided. You're both corporals.
There.'
    'But what if I want to order Brethless—'
    'Well you can't.'
    Brethless raised a finger. 'Wait, what if we give different
orders to the others?'
    'Don't worry 'bout that,' Maybe said, 'we ain't gonna
listen to you anyways. You're both idiots, but if the sergeant
wants to make you corporals, that's fine. We don't care.
Idiots make good corporals.'
    'All right,' Hellian said, rising, 'it's settled. Now, nobody
wander off, since the captain wants us ready to march.' She
walked away, up towards the ridge. Thinking.
    The captain had dragged off Urb and made him a
sergeant. Madness. That old rule about idiots making good
corporals obviously extended to sergeants, but there wasn't
anything she could do about it. Besides, she might go and
kill him and then there'd be trouble. Urb was big, after all,
and there wasn't much in the way of places to hide his
body. Not around here, anyway, she concluded, scanning
the broken rocks, bricks and potsherds strewn on the
slope.
    They needed to find a village. She could trade her knife
– no, that wouldn't work, since it would mess up her threat
and the squad might mutiny. Unless, next time, she added
nails to the possible weapons – scratch her own eyes out,
something like that. She glanced down at her nails – oh,
mostly gone. What a mess ...
     
    'Look at her,' Maybe said. 'Tells us not to wander off then
what does she do? Wanders off. Finds a ridge to do what?
Why, check out her nails. Ooh, they're chipped! Gods,
we've got a real woman for our Hood-damned sergeant—'
    'She ain't a real woman,' Touchy said. 'You don't know her
at all, sapper. Now, me and Brethless, we were two of the poor
fools who came first to the temple in Kartool, where this
whole nightmare started.'
    'What are you talking about?' Balgrid demanded.
    'Someone went and butchered all the priests in the D'rek
temple, and we was the first