A Malazan Book of the Fallen Collection 4

to
the Emperor, and that was why he now rode beside Yan
Tovis, although what value she placed in this Mocker
escaped the lieutenant.
    Perhaps it's no different from how she views me. I ride in this company in an act of mercy. Soon to be sent to a posting in my home city. To be with my wife and my child. Twilight is not thinking as an Atri-Preda – not even her duty as a soldier was enough to compel her to report what she had learned to her superiors.
    But this is not the first time, is it? Why should I be surprised? She surrendered Fent Reach to the Edur, didn't she? No battle, they just opened the gates.
    'Clearly, she loves the Edur so much she can go with them, to take command of the Letherii forces in the fleets.' So went the argument, dry and mocking.
    The truth may be that Yan Tovis is a coward.
    Varat Taun did not like that thought, even as it now
hounded him. He reminded himself of the battles, the
skirmishes, both on water and ashore, where there had
been nothing – not a single moment – when he had been
given cause to doubt her courage.
    Yet here, now, she was fleeing Letheras with her elite
company.
    Because I confirmed that Gral's claims. Besides, would I willingly stand beside Icarium again? No, not at his side, not in the same city, preferably not on the same damned continent. Does that make me a coward as well?
    There had been a child, in that cavern, a strange thing,
more imp than human. And it had managed what no-one
else could – taking down Icarium, stealing away his rage
and all the power that came with it. Varat Taun did not
think there would be another such intervention. The
defenders of the First Throne had possessed allies.
The Emperor in Gold could not but refuse the same. There
would be no-one there to stop Icarium. No-one but Rhulad
himself, which was of course possible.
    It is our lack of faith in our Emperor that has set us on this road.
    But what if neither one will fall? What if Icarium finds himself killing Rhulad again and again? Ten times, fifty, a hundred – ten thousand? An endless succession of battles, obliterating all else. Could we not see the end of the world?
    Icarium cannot yield. Rhulad will not. They will share that inevitability. And they will share the madness that comes of it.
    Bluerose would not be far enough away. No place will.
    He had left behind the one man who understood what
was coming better than anyone else. The barbarian. Who
wore a heavy hood to hide his features when among
strangers. Who spat on his hands to smooth back his hair.
Who greeted each and every dawn with a litany of curses
against all who had wronged him. Yet, now, I see him in my mind as if looking upon a brother.
    He and I alone survived. Together, we brought Icarium out.
    His thoughts had brought him to this moment, this conflation
of revelations, and he felt his heart grow cold in his
chest. Varat Taun pushed his horse to a greater pace, until
he came up alongside his commander. 'Atri-Preda.'
    She looked across at him.
    'I must go back,' he said.
    'To warn them?'
    'No, sir.'
    'What of your family, Varat Taun?'
    He glanced away. 'I have realized something. Nowhere is
far enough.'
    'I see. Then, would you not wish to be at her side?'
    'Knowing I cannot save them . . .' Varat shook his head.
'The Gral and I – together – I don't know, perhaps we can
do something – if we're there.'
    'Can I talk you out of this?'
    He shook his head.
    'Very well. Errant's blessing on you, Varat Taun.'
    'He is right,' said the Mocker behind them. 'I too must
return.'
    A heavy sigh gusted from Yan Tovis. 'So be it – I should
have known better than to try to save anyone but myself –
no, I'm not as bitter as that sounded. My apologies. You
both have my blessing. Be sure to walk those horses on
occasion, however.'
    'Yes sir. Atri-Preda? Thank you.'
    'What word do I send to your wife?'
    'None, sir. Please.'
    Yan Tovis nodded.
    Varat Taun guided his mount off the road, reining in.
The monk followed suited, somewhat more awkwardly. The
lieutenant watched in some amusement. 'You have no
horses in your lands?'
    'Few. Cabal is an archipelago for the most part. The
mainland holdings are on the sides of rather sheer cliffs, a
stretch of coast that is severely mountainous. And what
horses we do have are bred for labour and food.'
    To that, Varat Taun said nothing.
    They waited on the side of the track, watching the column
of mounted soldiers ride past.
    Errant take me, what have I done?
    * * *
    The lake stretched