A Memory of Light

words felt like dropping a brick onto her own feet. She did not cry. She had shed those tears already. That did not mean that she didn’t hurt.
    Lan came out of the tent behind her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She raised her hand to his. Nearby, Min and Elayne looked at one another.
    Gregorin whispered to Darlin—he had been found, half dead, in the wreckage of his tent. Both of them frowned at the women. Nynaeve overheard part of what Gregorin said. “. . . expected the Aiel savage to be heartless, and maybe the Queen of Andor, but the other one? Not a tear.”
    “They’re shocked,” Darlin replied.
    No, Nynaeve thought, studying Min and Elayne. Those three know something I do not. I’ll have to beat it out of them.
    “Excuse me,” Nynaeve said, walking away from Lan.
    He followed.
    She raised an eyebrow at him.
    “You shall not be rid of me in the next few weeks, Nynaeve,” he said, love pulsing through his bond. “Even if you want it.”
    “Stubborn ox,” she grumbled. “As I recall, you are the one who insisted on leaving me so that you could march alone toward your presumed destiny.”
    “And you were right about that,” Lan said. “As you so often are.” He said it so calmly that it was hard to be mad at him.
    Besides, it was the women she was mad at. She chose Aviendha first and stalked up to her, Lan by her side.
    . . with Rhuarc dead,” Aviendha was saying to Sorilea and Bair, “I think that whatever I saw must be able to change. It has already.”
    “I saw your vision, Aviendha,” Bair said. “Or something like it, through different eyes. I think it is a warning of something we must not let happen.”
    The other two nodded, then glanced at Nynaeve and grew as still-faced as Aes Sedai. Aviendha was just as bad as the others, completely calm as she sat in her chair, her feet wrapped in bandages. She might walk again someday, but she would never fight.
    “Nynaeve al’Meara,” Aviendha said.
    “Did you hear me say that Rand is dead?” Nynaeve demanded. “He went silently.”
    “He that was wounded has woken from the dream,” Aviendha said evenly. “It is as all must do. His death was accomplished in greatness, and he will be celebrated in greatness.”
    Nynaeve leaned down. “All right,” she said menacingly, embracing the Source. “Out with it. I chose you because you can’t run away from me.”
    Aviendha displayed a moment of what might have been fear. It was gone in a flash. “Let us prepare his pyre.”

    Perrin ran in the wolf dream. Alone.
    Other wolves howled their sorrow for his grief. After he passed them, they would return to their celebrations, but that did not make their empathy any less real.
    He did not howl. He did not cry out. He became Young Bull, and he ran.
    He did not want to be here. He wanted slumber, true slumber. There, he could not feel the pain. Here he could.
    I shouldn’t have left her.
    A thought of men. Why did it creep in!
    But what could I do? I promised not to treat her like glass.
    Run. Run fast. Run until exhaustion came!
    I had to go to Rand. I had to. But in doing so, I failed her!
    To the Two Rivers in a flash. Back out, along the river. The Waste, then back, a long run toward Falme.
    How could I be expected to hold them both, then let one go?
    To Tear. Then to the Two Rivers. A blur, growling, moving as quickly as he could. Here. Here he had wed her.
    Here he howled.
    Caemlyn, Cairhien, Dumai’s Wells.
    Here he saved one of them.
    Cairhien, Ghealdan, Malden.
    Here he had saved another.
    Two forces in his life. Each had pulled at him. Young Bull finally collapsed near some hills somewhere in Andor. A familiar place.
    The place where I met Elyas.
    He became Perrin again. His thoughts were not wolf thoughts, his troubles not wolf troubles. He stared up at the sky that was now, after Rand's sacrifice, empty of clouds. He had wanted to be with his friend as he died.
    This time, he would be with Faile where she had died.
    He wanted to scream, but it would do no good. “I have to let go, don’t I?” he whispered toward that sky. “Light. I don’t want to. I learned. I learned from Malden. I didn’t do it again! I did what I was supposed to, this time.”
    Somewhere nearby, a bird cried in the sky. Wolves howled. Hunting.
    “I learned . . .”
    A bird’s cry.
    It sounded like a falcon.
    Perrin threw himself to his feet, spinning. There. He vanished in an instant, appearing on an open field he did not recognize. No, he knew