A Song for Julia

me over the edge, touching her made me crazy, and the one time we’d played around in bed had filled my dreams every night since.
    The shuttle pulled up to the door of the Sheraton, and we got out, trudging into the hotel. Both of us were exhausted. It was eleven o’clock, which meant it was two in the morning back in Boston. We’d been up almost twenty-four hours. Or she had, anyway … I’d slept in to a lazy four A.M. before Serena woke me up by throwing Mark’s basketball at me. But I wasn’t too tired for this. That wasn’t even possible.
    So when we finished checking in, I said, “I need to buy uh … a pack of smokes. Meet you up in the room?”
    She leaned against me for just a second and kissed me. “Okay. See you up there.” I waited with her at the elevator, and the moment she got in and the doors closed, I raced back to the front desk. “Is the gift shop still open?” I asked, urgently.
    The woman at the desk, who looked like she knew what I was up to, pointed me in the right direction.
    A woman in her sixties was switching out the neon “Gifts” sign.
    “Wait!” I called out, running to her.
    “Sorry, I’m closing now.”
    “Please? I’m desperate.” I tried my father’s smile. It usually worked wonders with the ladies.
    “Well … if it’s desperate, I suppose …”
    “I need a pack of Marlboro, and um …” I looked around, frantically, for condoms.
    “And … what?”
    “Um …” Crap. This woman was older than my grandmother. “Do you carry condoms?”
    “Sure,” she said. Then she pointed to a rack. They were mixed in with the aspirin and tampons and hemorrhoid creams. No frickin’ wonder I didn’t see them. I grabbed a box and threw it on the counter, and she rung me up.
    “Bless you,” I said. “You’ve saved my life.”
    The lady one-upped me. She winked, her expression lewd. “Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
    First time ever a sixty-year-old woman made me blush. I smiled at her and said, “Um … thanks,” and ran for the elevators.
    I wasn’t tired now. I was bouncing on the balls of my feet, ready to get the hell upstairs. The Musak was playing in the background of the atrium, hideously soothing. I could see a fountain splashing. I was immune to the serenity. I wanted upstairs now. And the elevator was taking forever. I could have taken the stairs quicker than this.
    Finally, the bell rang, the elevator doors opened, and I was inside. I hit the number eight and turned around, looking out through the glass.
    It was nice—I’ll admit that. Never stayed in a hotel before, though I’d hung out in the alley behind the Charles Hotel and gotten high with my friends. The lobby here was huge, with the big fountain in the center, and rooms facing inside. We were on eight. I needed to be on eight. Now.
    Door finally opened, and I almost sprinted down the hall, swiped the keycard, and I was in.
    Then I stopped and took a breath.
    Julia had undressed, leaving on only a very sexy black lace bra, the blanket turned down. She was stunning. And apparently waiting for me. And while waiting, she’d fallen dead asleep. I sighed. Then I slid out of my jacket and hung it on the back of the chair.
    I walked over and kneeled down beside the bed, our faces inches apart. She looked peaceful, a half smile on her face. I wondered if she was already dreaming, and if so, what about. I wanted to be inside her head and know everything about her. But for now, I kissed her gently on the cheek, pulled up the blanket and tucked her in.
    In her sleep, she looked so innocent. Except I could see the scars. She’d made a pile of bracelets on the nightstand, leaving on only the worn pink and white friendship bracelet. Her lips were slightly curled at the edge of her mouth, and asleep, she looked carefree, young.
    My eyes dropped to the scars again. I’d kill anybody who hurt her.
    I should wake her up.
    No. I shouldn’t.
    She might appreciate it if I did.
    She might not.
    She needed the sleep. I sighed and walked to the sliding glass door, then slipped out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette. It was quiet up here, though I could see the traffic on the highway below. I took a drag, and glanced back through the window. She’d rolled to her side, pulling the covers around her.
    I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Especially with someone who didn’t believe in love or relationships. It’s crazy. I’m the guy who grabs a girl