A Song for Julia

that feeling of warmth and care and home that he gave me. He put his arms around me, and I said, “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
    His voice was a low, spine tingling growl. “The fuck I didn’t. Nobody touches you.” Then he pulled me tighter, and it didn’t feel overwhelming or out of control. It felt safe.
    Serena and Mark stood there in shock.
    Serena, looking concerned, said, “Are you okay?”
    “I’m fine,” I said. “Just an old bit of my past. It won’t happen again.”
    As I said the words, I realized it was true. I was fine. I was better than fine. For the first time I could remember, I felt free. Free of my past. Free of Harry, and the harm he’d done me when I was just a kid. Free of the horror that was high school. I looked up at Crank and found myself wishing I hadn’t hurt him so much, that I hadn’t pushed him away when he told me he loved me.
    Maybe, just a little, I even wanted him to say it again.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

    Because I’m afraid (Julia)
    Five seconds after I walked out of the security gates, I was almost knocked down by a brown haired blur as Alexandra ran up to me and threw her arms around me. I laughed and returned the hug. She looked up at me, her green eyes big and round. “I was afraid you weren’t coming home for Christmas.”
    I knelt down so we were at eye level. “Of course I came home. How could I miss Christmas with you?”
    She grinned. “I learned a new song, you want to hear?”
    “How about when we get home? I’ll need something to keep Mom away from me, we can go up to your room.”
    She nodded, smiling, and I looked up as Carrie approached. She was wearing a black mini and a rose sleeveless top, and looked positively gorgeous. A businessman who sat two rows up from me on the plane walked past her, his head turning as he went by, until he bumped into a cop.
    I snickered as I rose to my feet. Carrie was completely oblivious of the effect she had on men. She walked forward, and we embraced.
    “It’s just us,” she said, breaking away. “Mom’s at home with the twins and Andrea. She’s got some kind of party thing going on for the younger kids this afternoon.”
    I raised my eyebrows. “Plus, I bet she didn’t want to see me.”
    “Well … you two have been fighting.”
    I shrugged. “It’s okay.”
    “Do you need to pick up bags?”
    I nodded. “Couple. I shipped a bunch of stuff too, I might have found some gifts for the kids.”
    I took Alexandra’s hand in mine, and the three of us went off in search of the baggage claim. As we walked, I said, “Have you listened to the radio this morning?” They were playing Christmas music in the airport.
    She shook her head. “No, not really, why?”
    “Today’s the release day for the band’s single. Waiting to hear it on the radio.”
    She grinned. “Mom had a conniption about you telling the President you were going into the music industry.”
    We stopped at the baggage carousel. It was turning, but no bags yet.
    “Are you really?” Alexandra asked. “Are you going to be in a band?”
    I looked at her. “I’m not in the band … I’m the band’s manager. I set up their shows and get things organized, help them get records made, and … stuff like that.”
    “Is Crank in the band?”
    I nodded. “He is. He plays guitar and sings.”
    “I like Crank. He’s really weird. Can I come to one of your shows? How many earrings does he have?”
    “As a matter of fact, Alexandra, we’re going on tour this summer. With Allen Roark. And we’re playing two shows in San Francisco in August. And yes, you can come. Backstage, even.”
    Her eyes grew wide. “Backstage?”
    Carrie said, her voice bordering on the hysterical, “That’s so wild. I can’t wait.” Then she got a sly grin. “Do you think you can get me a couple extra backstage passes for my friends? They’ll die.”
    I put my arm around her waist and tugged her to me. “Anything for my sister.”
    “Do you think when I grow up I can be in a rock band?” Alexandra asked. “I could learn guitar, it doesn’t look that different than cello.”
    “I think you can do anything you want,” I said to her.
    “Mom would be really mad,” she replied.
    I couldn’t argue with that, but I did say, “I know. But sometimes we have to go our own way. Crank said to me one time that everyone has to have something to rebel against. I don’t know what yours will be, but mine is deciding my own life.”
    Alexandra looked