A Song for Julia

So, let me get your email address.”
    I gave it to him and then he said, “I got your message a couple days ago. But this is the first time we’ve been able to get to the phones. I’m in some godforsaken place in Kuwait.”
    I swallowed. “Kuwait, really?”
    “Yeah, I’m in Recon these days. It’s no big deal. Just lots of freaking sand. What about you? I couldn’t believe it when I got the message. What’s it been, almost ten years?”
    “Almost … I, um … I live in Boston now. But I’m in San Francisco visiting my family.”
    “Oh yeah? You all finished with school?”
    “I’m in my last year at Harvard.”
    He chuckled. “That’s what I’m talking about. I always knew you were one smart kid. You going into the Foreign Service like your dad?”
    “No,” I said. “I’ve … believe it or not, I’ve gotten in managing a rock band. And I really love it. It’s going to be the music industry for me.”
    This conversation was so strange. After so long, I didn’t even know what to say to him. I asked, “What happened with you? I was so upset back then that I never got to say goodbye. This is going to sound silly, but I always thought of you like a … a big brother. Family.”
    There was a pause, and he said, “It doesn’t sound silly at all, kid. I’d have been honored to have you as a sister. I always thought of you the same. God knows my sister wouldn’t have ever helped me rebuild an engine.” He laughed. “You remember the day you pulled the drain plug out while you were right underneath it? I thought your mother was going to kill me.”
    My eyes pricked with tears, and I crossed my arms over my chest as I laughed. “Yes, I remember. That was a mess.”
    “When this stupid war’s over, I’m thinking about getting out, starting my own restoration shop back home in Houston. If this music gig doesn’t work out for you, you can always come down and work for me.”
    I sniffled and blinked my eyes. “I might take you up on that.”
    “It’s funny,” he said. “I was telling Dea about you not long ago. You know I got married, right?”
    I was stunned. Barry had been notorious for chasing every girl in the embassy.
    “No!”
    “Yeah. Settled down, I got two little girls. The oldest kind of reminds me of you. She’s a complete smart ass.”
    I laughed. “That’s not nice.”
    “Sure it is. And you always were. I worried about you, you know. You were such a lonely kid. But brave as hell. I’m glad you’ve found a place for yourself. What are you, twenty-one now? Twenty-two?”
    “Twenty-two.”
    “Dating anyone?”
    “There’s a guy … I’m not sure dating’s the word.”
    “Well, tell this guy, if he ever does anything to hurt you? There’s gonna be one very pissed off Recon Gunnery Sergeant coming after him.”
    I said, hesitantly, “I think I love him.” As I said the words, I heard my voice break a little. It was the first time I’d said it out loud.
    He replied, his tone warm, “Yeah? I’m glad. You deserve someone good. When we knew each other, I know I was always chasing the next piece of tail, but I gotta tell you, kid, Dea taught me different. Family matters more than anything. Having a place you can call home? That’s really something.”
    Having a place you can call home. Did I have that? Maybe, just barely, back in Boston. But I was terrified I’d blown it. I was terrified I’d already hurt Crank so much that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I was terrified he would. I felt paralyzed.
    “I’ve never really felt at home anywhere,” I said.
    “No wonder, living like a bunch of vagabonds,” he said. “But I’ll tell you what I think. Home’s where the people you love are. It’s about finding the things that matter to you, and holding on to them and taking care of them. You make your own home, wherever that is. Kid … you’re family as far as I’m concerned. Keep your chin up. You’ll find what you need.”
    I fought to smile. I wished I could be so confident. I wished I had any clue as to what I needed. “When you get back home, I want to come see you.”
    “Deal,” he said. “I’m trying to picture you all grown up. You gotta email pictures, all right?”
    “I will. You do the same.”
    “Ok, my time’s up.”
    I sniffled again and wiped my eyes. I didn’t want to let go. “Barry? Before you go … thank you. You don’t know … you gave me more than you realize, letting me tag along with you all that time in