Abacus

continually gets in behind it and purrs into the mike. It scares the shit out of me.” Both men were edgy as they waited for the next growl. “Anyway, boss, I have had a bit of time to consider the cat’s behaviour, and have put it down to two possibilities.”
    Randall turned to listen. This he did not want to miss. “Go on,” he invited.
    “Firstly , I think the cat is able to pick up the high frequency signal from the microphone and is intrigued by this new phenomenon in its home environment.”
    “Possibly.”
    “My second theory is the feline often rids itself from static electricity by rubbing itself up against various objects including furniture and the legs of humans. In this case, the cat finds the rear of this particular lounge best suits its needs.”
    “Also a very plausible explanation,” Randa ll said, smiling. “Excellent work, Detective. If you happen to come up with a motive and murderer in this homicide case, I would also be equally interested in those.” Randall could hear the television on in the background. From what he could gather, both Hoskings and Cheung were both lying on the lounge. “Do they have a routine?”
    “Yeah , they do, and you’re sure to hear it soon,” Hobbs said grinning.
    Randall read through the detailed log from the previous shift and saw there was no reference to the newspaper he had arranged to be delivered earlier in the afternoon. They sat silently for the next half an hour as an outdoor holiday show and various annoying commercials blared out of the television. Hobbs left his seat for a moment and went into the makeshift kitchen adjoining their room. He returned with two glasses of water and placed one in front of Randall.
    As he took his first si p he could hear someone moaning. “Oohhhh, yes, yes, that’s right.”
    Hobbs looked a t him. “Strap yourself in, here we go.”
    She was certainly a vocal lover as the next half an hour was to prove. “Deeper, deeper,” she cried. “That’s right, that’s right, Pete, fuck me, fuck me,” she squealed at the top of her voice.
    Randall looked at Hobbs a nd tapped his watch. “How long does this go on for?” Hobbs slipped his headphones off and turned up the volume on the speaker. The moans and groans now echoed through the church, which even Randall the heathen did not feel right about.
    “ To answer your question, they go for about half an hour, boss.”
    Randall shook his head. “It sounds like we’ve got a porno turned up full volume. Let’s get a coffee. I can’t listen to this much longer without being able to join in.”
    They both walked from the room into the kitchen to make coffees, leaving the loud, vocal sex session blaring through the speakers behind them.
    “She’s certainly a lively one,” Randall commented between sips.
    “She goes off like a firecracker, doesn’t she?”
    Randall waved his index finger back and forth . “Hobbs, you dirty bastard, you have sat through a few nights of this. I reckon you would have done this job for free, no pay.”
    “You ’re right, it makes the job a lot more interesting,” he said, unable to hide his interest in her sex life.
    Randall took a long sip of his coffee, and then held his cup up at Hobbs. “I reckon you could give her a great shag, big fella. You’d have the inside running, you’d know all the right moves she likes, and you’d know exactly what to say.”
    Hobbs laughed . “You’re right. I’d know exactly what buttons to push and when. I’ve kept a mental note,” he said, touching his temple.
    “My real concern is that if Leanne was here, what would be the outcome?”
    Hobbs took some time to answer. “I’m strictly professional, boss, you know that.”
    “Yeah , I could imagine,” he said as he walked out of the kitchen to hear the sex session come to a crescendo, and end. “Thank Christ that’s over,” he said, pulling his headset back on. “No wonder they aren’t reading, they haven’t got any spare time for it, they’re too busy shagging. Matter of fact, I’m sure if I left a porno magazine near the door they would read it cover to cover in minutes.” Randall pulled his headphones back down onto his shoulders. “Hey, Mr. Feline Expert,” he said, clicking his fingers to draw Hobbs’s attention. “I have another question for you about the cat. Just out of curiosity, what does the cat get up to when they are getting it on?”
    Hobbs raised his eyebrows. “Don’t know, it’s like the cat