Agatha Raisin and the Terrible Tourist

have certainly been a few burglaries of British residents’ homes, but the police practically always find the culprits. They’ve got a big success rate. Only the tourists bother to lock their cars. So the very idea of the murder of a British tourist in a night-club is extraordinary. And yet Trevor is the obvious suspect. He needs money, Rose has money, she won’t give him any, his business is down the tubes, and she’s a flirt and he’s a jealous man. Must be Trevor. And I don’t think you’re going to have to use your investigative powers on this one, Aggie, because if it’s Trevor, and considering the amount of alcohol he sinks, I think he’ll crack. Pamir will keep after us all with his endless questions.’
    Agatha gave a rueful smile. ‘“Could you go through it all from the beginning, Mrs Raisin?” He has incredible patience.’
    ‘He’s waiting for one of us to slip up and tell him something different,’ said Charles. ‘And he thinks James might have tried to bump you off in a fit of passion.’
    ‘James had an alibi.’
    ‘I didn’t. Lucky James. Pamir implied that people like me suffer from inbreeding in the family and could be potty.’
    ‘I sometimes think you’re potty myself, Charles. Why bother with me?’
    ‘You amuse me.’
    ‘Not very flattering.’
    ‘You actually look good in that black dress.’
    ‘Thank you. You must be the only man in this hot climate to wear a tie.’ Charles was wearing a striped silk tie with an impeccable white shirt and a white linen suit. ‘Don’t you ever sweat?’
    ‘Only when I’m making love to you, Aggie.’
    Agatha sighed. ‘If only you were the right man. I’m at least ten years older than you, Charles.’
    ‘I’ve always wanted to be a toy-boy.’
    ‘And I’ve never wanted one.’
    ‘What about that young Chinese policeman? I thought he was rather keen on you.’
    ‘Bill Wong is a friend of mine. In fact, he was my first real friend.’
    ‘But he’s only in his twenties. You can’t have known him long.’
    ‘When I worked in London, before I took early retirement,’ said Agatha, resting her chin on her hands, ‘I was too ambitious to have friends and I didn’t feel the need for any. I built up a successful public relations business.’
    ‘But surely public relations involves getting on with people?’
    Agatha laughed. ‘In my case, I think I was successful because I bullied and cajoled and threatened. When I moved to the Cotswolds, things changed. I no longer had my work as my identity. I met Bill on what I like to think of as my first case. Then there came other friends.’
    ‘Life begins at fifty?’
    ‘Something like that. What about you, Charles? No wish to get married?’
    ‘This is so sudden.’
    ‘Be serious.’
    ‘Never found the right girl. Have no burning desire for children.’
    ‘That’s sad.’
    ‘Then we’re a sad pair, Aggie. You haven’t got children either.’
    ‘No,’ said Agatha sadly, ‘and now I never will. Wasted years, Charles.’
    He ordered another two brandies and raised his glass. ‘Here’s to the wasted years,’ he said solemnly.
    ‘Are you sure you ought to be driving after drinking this lot?’ demanded Agatha.
    ‘They do breathalyse people here just like back home, but I shall drive home carefully. I don’t feel in the least bit tipsy.’
    When they finally rose to leave, Agatha said, ‘I hope James is back. I don’t relish the idea of being in that villa on my own.’
    His eyes twinkled maliciously. ‘We could spend the night here.’
    ‘Forget it. Let’s just go.’
    As they were driving out of Nicosia towards the Kyrenia road, Agatha saw they were approaching the Great Eastern Hotel and she started to think about James. What was he up to?
    And then, with a lurch of her heart, she saw him walking along the street with a girl on his arm, a girl with long brown curly hair, a short, short skirt and long, long legs. They were going in the direction of the town.
    ‘That was James!’ gasped Agatha. ‘Turn the car.’
    ‘You’ll need to wait, Aggie, until the next corner. This is a dual carriageway.’
    Agatha waited impatiently until Charles was able to swing round and head back. And then, in front of them on the deserted street and under the lights of the street lamps, they saw James. His arm was around the girl. Charles slowed to a crawl. James and the girl turned a corner into a side street. Charles parked at the side of the road.
    ‘Out we get,’ he said