Alien in the Family

know.”
    “Thank God. You like the nightgown?”
    “Oh, it’s from you? I thought it was from James.”
    “There’s nothing like your bride-to-be saying she thought the lingerie you bought her was from another man to make you feel all warm and secure.”
    “Oh, stop. He’s been doing everything else. I’m afraid he’s going to drop dead from the exertion.”
    “He’s having a field day, I’ll give you that. So, you don’t like it?”
    I laughed. “I do like it. I didn’t spend a lot of time looking at it, because I didn’t realize it was from you.”
    “Oh, that’s fine, then.” He sounded reasonably pleased.
    “You want me to get up and look in the mirror or something?”
    “Yeah,” his voice dropped to a purr. “Then think about me.”
    “So you can see me?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Mmmm . . . that sounds interesting.”
    “Yeah.” His voice was still a purr. I heard Christopher in the background and Martini sighed. “My nanny says we have to get off the phone. You could still look in the mirror,” he added. I heard Christopher bark, “No.” Martini sighed again. “Or not.”
    “Okay. I’m tired anyway.” I was, but it had sounded kind of weird and fun at the same time.
    “I love how you think.”
    “Then I’ll go to sleep thinking of you.”
    “Sweet dreams, baby.”
    “They will be. I promise.” Closed the phone, snuggled back up into the pillows and the Poofs, and went to sleep.
    My last thought was that maybe, for once, nothing would go wrong with a big, important extravaganza. Our track record wasn’t that good, but I optimistically hoped for a reprieve. Did kind of think I’d earned it.

CHAPTER 67

    SOMEONE SHOOK ME AWAKE. It felt like a man’s hand. “Jeff?”
    “No. Time to get up, girlfriend.”
    I cracked an eye. “It’s dark.”
    Reader sighed and walked away. I tried to go back to sleep. I heard a noise and there was bright light right in my face. “What is that ?” Flung a pillow over my eyes.
    “We call it sunlight on our planet. Get up. We are, as usual, running late.”
    “James what are you doing in here?”
    “Getting you and the rest of the females moving.”
    “Get the guys up first.” I rolled over.
    Covers were pulled off. Poofs started grumbling. “Interesting, you sleep commando. Bummer, though . . . I’m still gay.”
    “Then go away.”
    He laughed. “You want me to give it a shot anyway?” He grabbed my ankles and pulled me to the edge of the bed.
    “Oh, fine.” I rolled over and sat up. “There, sitting up. What time is it, anyway?”
    “Nine. You’re supposed to be at the salon at nine-thirty.” He dragged me to my feet and into the bathroom. “Shower. Quickly. Don’t worry about your hair.”
    “ James .” I said this with as much whine in my voice as humanly possible.
    He kissed my forehead. “Do it, or I’ll tell Jeff I saw what he wants no other man, gay or straight, ever seeing.”
    “He’ll pick it up if you enjoyed it.”
    Reader patted my butt as he shoved me into the bathroom. “Guess I’d better plan to say that I object to the wedding, then.” He closed the door but I could tell he was waiting.
    “I want to, you know, before I shower.”
    “Fine. I’ll be back in five minutes. If you’re not in the shower, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
    “Nazi.” I whispered it under my breath. Then felt guilty. “Okay, not a Nazi. Just suddenly a major anal retentive.”
    “Heard that, both thats. Get into the shower.”
    “Eavesdropper!”
    “Laggard.”
    Decided he was more awake than me and so likely to win the war of wit right now. Started the water. Showering quickly wasn’t an issue if Martini wasn’t with me. Dried off, wrapped the towel around me. Checked to see if the coast was clear. It was, unless I counted Reader standing there with his arms crossed.
    “That’s the fastest you could shower?”
    “I had to shave my legs.”
    “Fine, I’ll accept that excuse.” He checked my legs out. “Okay.”
    “What, you didn’t believe me?”
    He rolled his eyes. “Put on the white dress Jeff bought for you. It’s a color match to your wedding dress.”
    “Well, how lucky.” I looked at him. “Where are you going to be while I do this?”
    “In here.”
    “James, we’re about at that point where Jeff and Paul might have real reasons to question us.”
    “Yeah. However, there are seven other naked women out there and I’ve already seen everything you own. So I’m sticking