Alien in the Family

Same for all the other dresses. And I’m sure I’ll love Jeff’s tux. We’ll love everything else, too.”
    My phone rang. Made the exasperation sound, let go of Reader, dug it out. Got it on the sixth ring. “Not such a great time.”
    “I know,” Martini said. “That’s why I called. Look, what’s wrong with James? Your worry is off the scales, and it’s centered around him. And the less said about what I’m picking up from him the better.”
    “Uhhh . . .”
    He sighed. “He’s right there, right?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Me or Paul? Who’s going to solve the problem best?”
    “Option two. Fast. Like, really fast.”
    “Got it. Love you.” He hung up.
    “Who was that?” Reader asked me, sounding stressed.
    “Uhhhh . . .” I didn’t know how to answer.
    Pierre rolled his eyes where Reader couldn’t see. “She can have a call you’re not privy to, Jimmy.”
    “No she can’t.”
    “Sure she can, Jamie.” Gower was with us. I tried to remember if I’d ever been this happy to see him before and came up short.
    “Paul, what are you doing here?” Reader sounded upset.
    Gower shook his head. “What happened?”
    “Major screw-up,” Reader snapped.
    “We forgot about the flowers. It’s not a problem, Paul.”
    Gower nodded. “Jamie, can I talk to you, privately?” Reader looked ready to argue. “Now, Jamie. I mean it.”
    “Tanning room, just over there, is quite free and very private.” Pierre pointed and arched his eyebrow meaningfully. Gower nodded. Reader heaved a sigh, got up, and went with Gower into the room. “He’s strung a little tight, isn’t he?”
    “Yeah. I think it’s my fault, too. I think I’ve made him feel bad for complaining about him being sort of beyond analretentive about all he’s been doing when I should have been saying thank you, only.”
    Pierre snorted and shoved me back into the chair. “Darling, please. I’ve known Jimmy a long time. Straightest gay man I’ve ever met. Other than that gorgeous hunk who, if I’m any judge, is who has Jimmy’s heart these days?”
    “Yeah, for a long time. They’re really great together.”
    “Then our tall, dark, and fabulously handsome will solve the issue. Jimmy’s got just enough straight man in him to demand everything be in his control at all times. But his beloved should be able deal with him. Sometimes it takes a talking to, sometimes a cuddle. He’ll be fine in a bit.” He looked at me critically. “Sleeveless with spaghetti straps?” I nodded. “I think we’re going to do something simple yet effective. But before we start, must make another call.”
    “Florist?”
    “You got it, sweetness.” Pierre shook his head. “My darling drama king—face it, can’t call Jimmy a queen, now, can we—needs to relax and let others handle the little details for a bit.”
    “I agree. And thank you for handling them.”
    Pierre waved his hand to indicate no big deal. “Rebecca! Darling, we’re in a level-five emergency. Yes, for you, the usual. You know how they make the arrangements sound so large and lovely? Well, I have a darling girl from our nearest neighbor of any import, and they have trashed her flowers. Her family refused them, they were that awful. Yes! I know. And, of course, since she’s in my chair, the wedding is today. I know! No, lips are sealed. If I told you who did this atrocity, you could never look at them again, and we’re still a small town, aren’t we?”
    Pierre was good. I was impressed. Reader had this entire network of people he never talked about, and they were all interesting. I thought about it. I had interesting friends, too. And the only reason my A-C circle had met any of them was because Brian happened to have been an astronaut, Chuckie had become a C.I.A. bigwig, and some of my sorority sisters had made my bachelorette party. Otherwise, Martini had met Amy, no one had met Sheila or Caroline, and I almost never saw my other friends much because how did you lie to their faces about what you did and who you were in love with all the time?
    I reminded myself that at least those friends had been invited to my wedding and, thanks to Chuckie, most were here. I hoped the big extravaganza would cover some of my total lack of good friend-ness for the past year, but I figured it wouldn’t. My luck so rarely ran that way.
    Pierre looked at me. “Colors, darling? Of the wedding.”
    “Black and white.”
    “Seriously?”
    “Yes.”
    “Our Jimmy. Always so