Alien in the Family

with you. I’ll turn my back.”
    I looked closely at his head. “Geez, you know, you already have stubble.”
    “Yeah, thank God.”
    “I didn’t realize your hair grew so fast. That’s really manly and virile.” At least, in my opinion.
    “Back to that part where Jeff and Paul start worrying, babe.”
    “Fine, fine.” Went into the huge closet. “I put my wedding lingerie on before I get into the wedding dress, not now, right?”
    “Right.” He sounded distracted.
    Peeked out to see him sitting on the edge of the bed. He had his back to me, and he was playing with the Poofs, the three with me and his own. It dawned on me that he wasn’t an empath. I got dressed and sat down on the bed next to him. I hugged him from behind. “I’m sorry, James. You’re doing everything I couldn’t even think of doing or have planned for myself, let alone someone else. I’m sorry I sound like a whiney brat instead of grateful.”
    He chuckled, but I felt him relax. “It’s okay, girlfriend. I know how it is. The person in charge always gets the complaints.”
    I leaned my head against his back. “I’ll stop complaining. Because everything you’re doing is beyond wonderful, and I appreciate it a lot more than I’m managing to let you know.”
    Reader shifted and hugged me back. “It’s okay. I understand, don’t mind, and love you, so even when you’re being a pain in the butt, you’re still my girl.”
    “I love you even when you’re channeling Martha Stewart, Emily Post, and every fashion designer on the planet at the same time.”
    The Poofs crawled into our laps and started purring. “The love in the room is amazing. Let’s move before Jeff or Paul come in and I have to turn straight, because we’ll have to run off to the Free Women’s planet in order to escape their wrath.”
    “Wise choice.”
    We got up, and I got the critical eye. “Not bad. If we’d had to, you could have gotten away with this as your wedding dress.”
    “Only if we wanted my side of the family to die of embarrassment. This is sort of revealing for a wedding gown.”
    “The lingerie helps.” He rubbed his hands together. “Grab your purse, load up the Poofs, and let’s get going.”
    Checked to make sure the other girls were ready—they were. Apparently Reader had woken me up last. He hustled us down to the salon, installed everyone other than me with a stylist, and took me to the back.
    A slim, reasonably attractive man was waiting. “Jimmy, it’s about time.” He sounded huffy and like he was faking a French accent.
    “We were delayed.” Reader didn’t sound apologetic. He put me into the chair. “Kitty, this is Pierre.”
    “Is Peter another cousin of yours?”
    “Oh, she’s a bright one, Jimmy,” he said, fake accent gone. “But, no, darling, long ago ex-boyfriend. Still, how can one say no to those cheekbones?”
    “No idea, I’ve never been able to.”
    “I see we agree. The start of a lovely relationship. Call me Pierre here, though, will you, darling? It’s an image thing.”
    “No worries. James, what is Pierre doing to me?”
    Pierre answered. “Darling, we’re fluffing you up.” Reader started to cough.
    “I know what that term means.”
    Pierre gave me a wicked grin in the mirror. “I’m so impressed. No wonder our Jimmy adores you.”
    “James?”
    Reader managed to recover himself. “Pierre? It’s her wedding day, okay?”
    “I imagine her intended can’t wait to lock up the darling who knows how to fluff.”
    “He’s all over it. He likes my hair the way it is.”
    Pierre snorted. “I’m sure, darling, I’m sure. Jimmy, the veil is, what? A piece of netting? This is all you could come up with?” He pointed to the veil which was hanging off a cabinet at his station. It didn’t look like much, I had to admit.
    “I don’t even know if I want her in a veil.” Reader sounded exasperated.
    “She’s in a mermaid I presume?”
    “Yes.”
    “Wow, you’re good.” I was impressed.
    “Darling, no one has a better eye for what to wear when than our Jimmy. But he’s lost it with the veil.” Reader started to argue and Pierre put up his hand. “Dearest. You’re tired and look peaky. No one is accusing, no one is berating. Give me a moment.” He pulled out a cell phone. “Dennis, darling! Yes, yes, no time, darling, no time. I have a blushing bride in my chair, and the veil someone foisted off on her is ghastly. It’ll be death, death , to the whole ceremony. Hang