Alien vs. Alien

Christopher’s mother, Terry, had been dead since he and Jeff were ten years old.
    So they’d been less than thrilled to discover Christopher and Amy wanted to tie the knot with absolutely no fanfare. Alfred and Lucinda had been in attendance, but the rest of Jeff’s family hadn’t been invited. All the A-Cs on Earth were related somewhere back there, but Jeff was the youngest of six, and his sisters were all married with children. Even though they were cousins, Christopher and Jeff were closer than brothers, and Christopher was treated like another member of the family.
    This treatment hadn’t always been the best, for a variety of reasons, most pertaining to the talents Jeff and Christopher had combined with Alfred and Lucinda’s desire to, as they’d put it to me, “keep the boys from thinking they were better than everyone else, even though they were better than everyone else.” I’d given up arguing about or questioning this logic three and a half weeks ago.
    However, Christopher not having the immediate Martini family in attendance was apparently a thorn in almost everyone’s sides. Lucinda had, therefore, spent much of this past month subtly indicating to Amy that she wasn’t really an official member of the family yet, because she hadn’t done some big ceremony. Lucinda had also none-too-gently been pushing the idea of a big “we’re married” reception type thing to make up for Amy’s evil idea of not doing it up right in the first place.
    “Why have we been discussing anything about any weddings?” Christopher asked. He looked and sounded confused, probably because he was—Amy hadn’t mentioned this situation to him when she’d called during our time in Florida. f
    “Well, you and Amy just ran off and eloped,” Lucinda replied. “We need to have an official reception for everyone.”
    “Why?” Christopher sounded completely uninterested. “We didn’t elope—you and Uncle Alfred were there. We’re married, we’re both happy about it, and everyone knows, so why would we need to have a reception?”
    “No one’s been able to send you a wedding gift,” Lucinda shared.
    “So what?” Christopher shrugged. “We live at the Embassy, so we don’t need anything. I don’t see why we need to bother with anything about this.” He looked as though he thought this conversation was over.
    “It’s proper protocol,” Lucinda countered.
    “We’re drowning in protocol right now, and I’m really sure some party like this isn’t necessary to our success as diplomats.”
    Jeff looked up from his baby snuggling and shot Christopher the “shut up, shut up” look. But it was too late.
    Lucinda had the Stern Mother voice going. “You have an obligation to our people. You’ve married someone no one knows, and you did it in such a way that almost no one knows you’re married. Are you ashamed of her?”
    “Of course not!” Christopher sounded shocked and looked confused. “What is this about?”
    Jeff winced. Either he’d taken his blocks down or the emotions in the room were so strong he couldn’t help but feel them. I had no clear idea which option was the winner.
    “I’m not good enough for you,” Amy snapped. “That’s what it’s about, and what it’s been about for a month.”
    “That is absolutely not true,” Lucinda said. “We have traditions, however, and you completely ignored them.”
    “I didn’t know what they were, and no one else had a problem with it,” Amy retorted.
    “You never bothered to find out,” was Lucinda’s comeback. I’d heard this argument, which always ended in a stalemate, for a month now. It never got any better.
    I looked around. Those who’d been with us all this time had “I’m not really here” looks on their faces. Even White hadn’t been able to make any headway with this issue—Lucinda merely turned her righteous wrath onto him, since, as Pontifex, former or otherwise, he knew what all the rules were, and she felt he should have forced Christopher and Amy into the huge wedding.
    Melanie and Emily looked as though they’d expected this somewhere along the line. Tito was taking the cue from Len and Kyle and pretending he wasn’t here. Jeff was clearly struggling with the strong emotions.
    That left me one person to appeal to for help. I shot Chuckie the “get us out of this” look. He heaved a sigh and cleared his throat, loudly.
    Lucinda and Amy both stopped snarling at each other and looked at him. “Thank you,