Alien vs. Alien

No amount of money in the world would be enough for me to want to find out, however.
    “What in the hell are you gentlemen doing in here?” Franklin snarled.
    Stryker stood up straight. Not much of an improvement. “Our jobs, sir. Supreme Commander Reynolds understands.”
    I couldn’t control the Inner Hyena. “Oh, dude, did he really tell you to call him that?” I asked in between snorts of laughter. “God, I love Chuckie’s sense of humor.”
    “Kitty, shut up,” Stryker hissed at me.
    I rolled my eyes. “Colonel Franklin, I know you know why Eddy and the others are here in the ‘bunker.’ They’re C.I.A. operatives monitoring all incoming data for security threats and breaks.” I made eye contact with Stryker. “And I do mean
all
.”
    “No idea what you mean, Kitty,” Stryker said, giving me the “shut up, shut up” look.
    “Eddy? I’m married to a space alien, okay? Who, along with my oldest friend, is missing, snatched out of thin air kind of thing. Everyone with me knows about it. So stop with the ridiculous posturing. True believers here, okay?”
    Stryker relaxed, a little. “Fine. Yes. We monitor all incoming and outgoing transmissions.”
    “All?” Buchanan asked. “You mean worldwide?”
    “He means world and galaxy and potentially universewide, don’t you Eddy? In fact, the information that has everyone in a tizzy was probably filtered to everyone from down here in the ‘bunker’.”
    Stryker nodded. “We have the highest-level security clearances. And, yes, we’ve been monitoring the . . . activity.”
    “You’re paid thirty thousand dollars a year,” Franklin snapped. “No one at that salary level has these kinds of clearances.”
    I checked out our other bunker-mates, most of whom were, like Stryker, vacillating between looking at Franklin in a terrified manner and checking out Abigail, Naomi, and Jennifer while trying to pretend they weren’t so checking and while also trying to hide their drooling. Dazzlers had that effect.
    One of the nervous droolers was tall, skinny, and black but otherwise matched Stryker, including in his love of the
X-Files
. One was small, scrawny, bald, and Chinese and also one with the idea that the
X-Files
was the best show ever. One looked Indian or Pakistani, but with an actual normal body build, and also wore a shirt proclaiming his
X-Files
devotion.
    The last one, who was the only one not staring at the gals, was actually rather boring, albeit very Slavic-looking, if you didn’t notice the dark sunglasses and the fact that he looked as though he worked out. He was a big guy and normal for the regular world and therefore looked totally out of place here,. He was apparently also more open-minded, or else just held to the classics, because he broke the uniform and was in a vintage
Star Wars
shirt.
    It was like entering the set of
The Big Bang Theory
. I refrained from asking why none of them were supporting that show,
Eureka
,
Star Trek,
Warehouse 13
,
Fringe
, or
Men in Black
, let alone a host of other options. Maybe Sundays were
X-Files
days at the Hacker Central offices, and my big man in shades was just a rebel.
    “They have those clearances if they’re not doing this so much for the money—because they all already have their own from a variety of other pursuits—but because they live for this stuff, and they also probably like the benefits.”
    Stryker grimaced. “Yeah, so what? Government bennies are great, and we do a good job.”
    “I’m sure you do. Colonel Franklin, you see before you the top hackers in the world, and if they’re not the top in some area, they know who is. Stryker Dane, aka Eddy Simms, resident U.F.O. expert and extraterrestrial languages expert.”
    I pointed to the skinny black guy. “Big George Lecroix, who is Europe’s best hacker. Helps that Big George speaks, reads, and writes twenty languages fluently. And, no, I’m not making that up.”
    Our scrawny Chinese guy was up next. “Doctor Wu, otherwise called Henry. He really has a doctorate, several, actually, and his last name really is Wu. The fact that his name is the same as a cool Steely Dan song is just an added bonus. Covers all the languages that Big George doesn’t, also a software expert. China’s best hacker.”
    I pointed to our Indian. “Ravi Gaekwad, Indian, wait for it, their best hacker. He’s also big into both the software and hardware sides of the house—if you need it made or unmade, Ravi’s your guy.” I chose